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Beyond the Uniform: A Military Wife’s Caregiving Journey

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Natalie Elliott Handy and JJ Elliott HillBeyond the Uniform: A Military Wife’s Caregiving Journey
  1. Beyond the Uniform: A Military Wife’s Caregiving Journey Natalie Elliott Handy and JJ Elliott Hill 1:02:59

“I forgot how to care for myself.” – Tara Ross

In this powerful episode of Confessions of a Reluctant Caregiver, hosts Natalie and JJ welcome guest, Tara Ross to dive deep into the raw realities of caregiving—especially within military families. Tara opens up about her journey from falling in love with John, a dedicated Navy submariner, to facing the life-altering challenges of his traumatic brain injury.

This emotional conversation unpacks the hidden struggles of caregivers, from Burnout and emotional exhaustion to the fight for proper health advocacy. Tara shares how relocating to Ohio, navigating caregiving through COVID-19, and coping with personal loss shaped her resilience. She also reveals hard-earned lessons on self-care, setting boundaries, and maintaining personal identity while supporting a loved one.

💡 In this episode, you’ll discover:
✅ The emotional toll of caregiving and how to avoid burnout 🧠💔
✅ The importance of health advocacy and speaking up for your loved one 🏥📢
✅ How COVID-19 reshaped caregiving responsibilities 🌍⚖️
✅ Strategies for balancing self-care while supporting others 💆‍♀️✨
✅ Why setting boundaries is essential for long-term resilience 🚧🛡️
✅ The power of a strong support system and community 🤝❤️

Learn more about Tara Ross:

Born and raised in the San Francisco Bay Area, Tara Ross split time between Marin County and the Haight-Ashbury district following their parents’ divorce. Growing up in a creative household, they were drawn to the arts, ultimately choosing graphic design as a career path.

In 2006, while attending community college, Tara met John. After a year of dating, he made the life-changing decision to join the Navy, enlisting in the Submarine Service—a choice that initially seemed to offer a sense of Security from the dangers of military life. With a grandfather and uncle who had served, Tara was no stranger to the physical and emotional toll the military could take on both service members and their families.

The couple married in 2008, embarking on a journey that took them from Groton, Connecticut, to San Diego, California, where they built their life together amid the challenges and sacrifices of military service.

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👉 If you’re a caregiver, a military spouse, or someone looking for inspiration in the face of adversity, this episode offers practical str

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JJ Elliott Hill Confessions of a Reluctant Caregiver

Known since childhood as “The Elliott Girls” or simply, “The Girls”, it makes sense that we work together to support our mother, and each other. Our trio begins with Jenefer Jane “JJ” who was and always will be “in charge”. She’s the peacekeeper. The responsible one, ensuring Natalie and Emilie remain alive. Next is Natalie, the middle child, who was and always will be Miss Congeniality. She’s the athlete. The rebel responsible for three babysitters exiting the summer of ’84. Then there is Emilie, the youngest, who was and always will be “the baby”. At 6’1”, she is the sensitive and quiet soul. The one responsible for the guinea pig that begged for lettuce and the stray dog we adopted from the bus stop.

After high school we went separate ways, from New Mexico to North Carolina. JJ would go on to get her Master’s in Business Administration and work in the finance world before partnering with her now husband, Dexter, to run a variety of businesses. Natalie would go on to get her Master’s in Social Work degree, and work in the mental health field, advocating for children and families to receive the most appropriate services. Natalie would marry and divorce early on but later marry Jason. Emilie would exit college early to marry and gift us with Owen and twins, Maxx and Natalie Jane aka “The Kids”. Emilie would later divorce and work with county government, focusing much time on caring for the kids.

The source of the sisterhood falls to Jim aka “Big Jim” and Connie, small town high school sweethearts married for almost 40 years.

In 2005, at the age of 52, mom would be diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. She hid the disease for years behind dad’s 6’2” frame. The tremors and sudden inability to move were both calmed and steadied by his arm and simple presence. He was her rock. Our rock. Close family and friends knew of her chronic illness, but to the rest of the world, everything was “fine”. Life would turn upside down when our dad unexpectedly passed in 2011 of a massive heart attack at the age of 58. The assumption was Dad would always be mom’s caregiver but that wasn’t God’s plan.

Mom would spend the years following our father’s death desperately seeking a cure for Parkinson’s while trying to manage her symptoms. As the years went by, the cruel symptoms associated with the disease increased, negatively impacting her body while her mind remained clear and in tune. We lived our lives checking in to make sure she was “okay” but knowing the day would come when we had to do more. And then it did. The summer of 2019 changed everything. That’s where the real caregiver story begins for us. Little did we know she would be only the beginning of our caregiving journey.

In March 2022, Natalie’s husband, Jason, was diagnosed with head and neck cancer. From the first time Jason detected something off about the swollen lymph nodes in his neck, to the formal diagnosis, and the decision to move to New York City to participate in a clinical trial at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, the journey would push them to their limits. The silver lining of his diagnosis was the cancer brought them closer to God, restoring their faith in Him while also experiencing a myriad of blessings through the kindness of family, friends, and strangers. Their story is a testimony that will inspire and offer hope.

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