Dear Barbara, My mom is 83 and has moderate Alzheimer’s . Since May, I have noticed a big change in her behavior. She has really slowed down with everything. She sleeps a lot. I know she is depressed and she is on medications, but I hate to see her sleeping like this. She is still asleep now and she went to bed last night at 8:30. Should I be making her get up earlier?

I’m no expert on dementia related diseases. Teepa Snow and MaryAnn Oglesby are my go-to people for information and advice on “what I should do now.” What I’m saying is that I, Barbara, am no dementia specialist.

It is hard to accept where our special person is when the “rules” have changed. What “normal” healthcare is does not necessarily apply to someone with dementia. 

Our goal is to keep them safe and meet them where they are in the moment with kindness and thoughtfulness. I don’t have enough information to tell you whether to let your mother Sleep or get her up. BUT I will ask what is the harm in letting her sleep?

It is hard for caregivers to know how to care for a person with dementia. The behaviors are so varied that there is no single correct way to handle a situation.

With the various and individual ways dementia presents itself, the questions to ask are: what action fits the present moment? How can comfort be provided in this moment? How can I support and bring peace to this particular moment? 

Did you notice I repeatedly said “in this moment”? The key to being involved and caring for someone with dementia is the present moment. It is not how they used to be but who they are in this very moment. AND how do I address and interact with them in this moment. 

Something more… about “My Mom with Alzheimer’s sleeps so much…”

If you are caring for a loved one with dementia who is approaching end of life, I have a booklet that can support you. Dying with dementia doesn’t play by the normal end of life rules. Here is a review of my booklet, How Do I Know You? Dementia at End of Life:

Working as a Dementia trainer and practitioner for 25 years, I can honestly say this is one of the best dementia resources available on the market! Worded in a way that caregivers and families really get it, it affects positive change for all parties involved. Here, here!

– Kim F. United States

Originally Published on https://bkbooks.com/blogs/something-to-think-about

Barbara Karnes Registered Nurse

Barbara Karnes, RN Award Winning End of Life Educator, Award Winning Nurse, NHPCO Hospice Innovator Award Winner 2018 & 2015 International Humanitarian Woman of the Year

While at the bedside of hundreds of people during the dying process, Hospice Pioneer Barbara Karnes noticed that each death was following a near identical script. Each person was going through the stages of death in almost the same manner and most families came to her with similar questions. These realizations led Barbara to sit down and write Gone From My Sight, "The Little Blue Book" that changed the hospice industry.