Photo by Museums Victoria on Unsplash Genuine Question or Disguised Judgment? Asking genuine curious questions is a powerful tool to improve listening, get through road blocks in difficult conversations, and gain compassionate understanding of another person’s perspective. But even when you’re trying to be authentic and genuine, you might fall into the trap of asking […]
Photo by Krys Amon on Unsplash Graphic by Lorraine Segal What is the Rashomon Effect? And how can it help with Conflict? In my twenties, I got hooked on old Japanese Samurai movies and watched many cinema classics. The one that made the biggest impression, so that it haunted me decades later, was called Rashomon. […]
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash Love yourself and don’t be a jerk is good advice for any conflict. Why? While I want my clients to see their contribution, to own their part in any problematic situation, self-blame doesn’t help you do this in any effective way. It actually makes you more likely to be […]
Photo by Baran Lotfollahi on Unsplash Is conflict transformation a Hero’s Journey? Last week I attended a beautiful workshop on the Hero’s Journey, offered by Stella Orange and Rebecca Liston of Las Peregrinas. Their approach is based in part on Joseph Campbell’s, and they apply it primarily to business and marketing. Listening to their eloquent […]
Photo by David Marcu on Unsplash Reflections: How did you do this year with conflict and courage? I’ve been reflecting on 2022 and the courage my clients and I have shown in dealing with conflict, inner and outer. As those of you who have been reading my blog for a while know, I write a […]
Photo by Varvara Grabova on Unsplash How did you learn to turn your mistakes into stories? This was the thoughtful question Alesia Grace Thompson asked me during my interview on the Mediate.com Great Reads Book Club. Alesia was referring to my memoir, Angels & Earthworms. This was a very rich question for me, with implications […]
Photo by Icons8 Team on Unsplash Toxic co-workers or bosses can create big problems at work. As a workplace conflict transformation consultant, coach, and trainer, I have assisted many of my individual and organizational conflict clients who have had issues with toxic people in their workplaces. What are signs that a coworker is toxic? There […]
Photo by Julien L on Unsplash added words by L.Segal Misunderstandings and assumptions about what another person means, or what the word they use means, can really fuel conflicts. I’ve written a lot about this in terms of intercultural miscommunications and bias, but it can happen when there are no obvious cultural differences as well. […]
<img loading="lazy" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-5888" data-attachment-id="5888" data-permalink="https://conflictremedy.com/our-shame-stories-and-conflict/shame-001/" data-orig-file="https://i0.wp.com/conflictremedy.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/shame.001.jpeg?fit=1920%2C1080&ssl=1" data-orig-size="1920,1080" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{"aperture":"0","credit":"","camera":"","caption":"","created_timestamp":"0","copyright":"","focal_length":"0","iso":"0","shutter_speed":"0","title":"","orientation":"0"}" data-image-title="shame+.001" data-image-description=" man covered with post-its of shame and feelings ” data-image-caption=” Photo by Yasin Yusuf on Unsplash Some post-its by L.SEgal ” data-medium-file=”https://i0.wp.com/conflictremedy.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/shame.001.jpeg?fit=300%2C169&ssl=1″ data-large-file=”https://i0.wp.com/conflictremedy.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/shame.001.jpeg?fit=1024%2C576&ssl=1″ class=”size-large wp-image-5888″ src=”https://i0.wp.com/conflictremedy.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/shame.001-1024×576.jpeg?resize=1024%2C576&ssl=1″ alt=”Shame stories and feelings beneath” width=”1024″ height=”576″ data-recalc-dims=”1″ /> Photo by Yasin Yusuf on Unsplash Some […]
