We hear of ageism in the workplace. Older workers are laid off and when they seek new jobs, they are discriminated against in favor of younger, cheaper, less experienced workers. We hear of ageism in the media where elders are depicted as frail, impaired, dependent and in need of oh, so many medications. We do not see a lot if images of vital, healthy elders in print, film, or social media. But we don’t hear about the real issue of ageism from health care providers in medical care. It does exist, though it is hidden. You would only learn about it from an older person who may be frustrated by... Continue Reading
Posts Tagged With ‘ Carolyn Rosenblatt ’
Our government is currently focusing on the mental health of elders, particularly the loneliness they experience. For those with aging loved ones, pandemic related social isolation exacerbated what was already an underlying problem. Many elders do not have consistent, meaningful connections with enough others to prevent the sadness and hopelessness so many experience every day. The Face Of Social Isolation In reflecting on this, I am reminded of many lonely, isolated elders I visited long ago in my career as a public health nurse. My job involved going to the homes of those in my caseload, addressing... Continue Reading
There are plenty of aging parents out there making life difficult for their adult children, as we see from our experience working with elders’ families at AgingParents.com. A common problem for families happens when the one in charge of finances, typically the patriarch, develops cognitive impairment and can no longer safely manage the family trust and his own spending. Things can get financially dangerous. Case Study In this fact situation from a real case, we observed what it took to get the patriarch out of the position as trustee and to permit the successor, the adult daughter, to step in.... Continue Reading
Do you have a stubborn aging parent? Are you worried that he or she is doing unsafe or just plain dumb things? You’re not alone. Here at AgingParents.com, we see this scenario often, and it’s frequently about control over the family finances. Here’s an example, based on a real case with some elements altered for privacy’s sake. She refuses to give up financial control The matriarch, Wilma, age 85, decides to move to a high end assisted living facility, due to her physical difficulties. She has lived in her elegant home for 60 years and it is, of course, much more valuable than when she... Continue Reading
This really happened. George is 90 and is generally doing well, but he has a few memory problems. His wife, Gloria worries about him keeping track of things. He has a full-time caregiver from a qualified agency. He goes to the gym for an hour every day. The caregiver drives him there and to the bank, to his errands and to lunch. He keeps cash on hand for his own use. The last time George went to the bank, Gloria wanted to know what had happened to the $300 he withdrew. He couldn’t find it. Missing Cash The next time, he said he had put $1000 in his “secret stash” drawer in his dresser. ... Continue Reading
How did the adult son of a wealthy but secretive 85-year-old father get his dad to finally reveal important information about his assets? It wasn’t easy. Many adult children have an elder who thinks he’s fine and doesn’t need any help. Even if the patriarch or matriarch is fine, there is no guarantee they’ll stay that way. In this case at AgingParents.com, the son, Alex, was increasingly worried about his father, whose mind was ok but his management skills had fallen apart. Alex sought help because his father had extensive real estate investment properties, but they were being sorely neglected.... Continue Reading
Adult children wanting to keep aging loved ones safe often suggest that their elders wear a personal emergency device. (personal emergency response system or PERS). With the push of a button, the elder summons emergency help. Despite that fact that a lot of elders have them but won’t wear them, they are important for those who do put them on every day. Advances in tech for these devices are constantly evolving. Some devices are part of a smart watch and the wearer doesn’t have to feel “old” wearing one. Some resist wearing something like a pendant that to them is conspicuous. They think... Continue Reading
A common worry many adult children express about aging parents is that the parents are alone and it’s time they got some help. The kids are worried because of changes in the parent’s health, mobility or memory problems. The aging parent may not agree that there is anything to worry about, and this, of course, leads to resistance. Assisted living is something adult children frequently mention as a solution to their worries. But is it? There are pros and cons to consider and the family needs to understand what assisted living is and what it isn’t. On a personal note, I had a 96 year old mother-in-law... Continue Reading
A common worry many adult children express about aging parents is that the parents are alone and it’s time they got some help. The kids are worried because of changes in the parent’s health, mobility or memory problems. The aging parent may not agree that there is anything to worry about, and this, of course, leads to resistance. Assisted living is something adult children frequently mention as a solution to their worries. But is it? There are pros and cons to consider and the family needs to understand what assisted living is and what it isn’t. On a personal note, I had a 96 year old mother-in-law... Continue Reading
Most of us probably know someone who can’t hear very well and doesn’t use hearing aids. It can be frustrating trying to have a conversation with that person. particularly in a group setting, like a dinner table or in a restaurant. They say “what?” and you repeat, but they still don’t hear you much. Can you do anything about this? Maybe. It depends on why some aging parents will or won’t accept wearing hearing aids. Why do folks resist hearing aids? Hearing aids used to cost thousands of dollars and Medicare never did cover them. You had to get an in-person test and a prescription. You... Continue Reading