Have you ever let a bad commute ruin a crucial meeting? Or sent a hasty, frustrated reply to a message you misunderstood? In this highly relatable episode, Andy Lopata sits down with Vicki O’Farrell, known as the “Queen of Behaviours,” to unpack how the minor inconveniences of our day can hijack our brains, alter our moods, and ultimately sabotage our professional Relationships.
Andy and Vicki dive deep into the psychology of our daily triggers—from the “limbic” fight-or-flight response of getting cut off in traffic, to the toxic nature of instant-reply culture on WhatsApp and social media. Vicki shares a powerful personal story of how her own traffic-induced bad mood infected an entire construction site, highlighting the contagious nature of our Emotions. Together, they explore practical tools to reset your emotional temperature and how pausing to consider another person’s perspective can save your most valuable connections.
About Our Guest:Vicki O’Farrell is an expert in human behavior and communication, widely known as the “Queen of Behaviours.” With 25 years of corporate experience, from charming Sales rep to Boardroom boss, Vicky founded Queen of Behaviours in 2013 after her own behaviour had a tiny impact on her corporate trajectory. Splitting her time between delivering high-level corporate workshops in London and helping run her husband’s construction business, Vicki has a unique, boots-on-the-ground understanding of how to adapt communication styles, read the room, and manage emotional energy across vastly different workplace cultures.
What we discussed in this episode:
The Traffic Jam Trigger: Why getting cut off in traffic immediately triggers our “chimp” limbic system, and how the stories we tell ourselves about why the other person did it dictate our mood for the rest of the day.
The PAUSE Model: Vicki introduces the concept of PAUSE—starting with “P” for Perspective—and how assuming a positive intent (e.g., they are rushing to the hospital) can instantly lower your dangerous cortisol levels.
Code-Switching and Authenticity: How to adapt your communication style and energy when moving between entirely different environments (like a corporate boardroom vs. a construction site) without losing your authentic self.
The 0 to 10 Energy Scale: Why striving to be a “10 out of 10” every day is actually a mistake, and why finding your grounded “5” is often the best way to match your audience’s emotional needs.
The Doorway Reset: Practical tools—like curating a specific Spotify playlist, checking your “mirror,” and Box Breathing (4 in, 4 hold, 4 out)—to reset your mood before you walk into a room.
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Paul McGee’s Book: S.U.M.O (Shut Up, Move On)
Breathing Technique: Box Breathing (Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds).
Download the full episode to learn how to master your mood and protect your professional relationships!
SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE
Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube
Connect with Vicky O’Farrell: YouTube |LinkedIn |Facebook
The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring
Box Breathing Relaxation Technique
