Susie Singer Carter shares the story of caring for her mother, Norma, who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 16 years before her passing. Susie describes how she was the first to notice the signs of Alzheimer's, even as her family dismissed her concerns.
As Susie navigates her mother's declining health, she also faces personal challenges, including going through a divorce. Susie brought her mother to live with her, which impacted her teenage daughter. However, Susie was determined to provide the best care for her mother, even as she struggled to balance her career and Caregiving responsibilities.
Susie's story highlights the complexities of caregiving, from managing family dynamics to advocating for her mother's wellbeing. Despite the difficulties, Susie finds purpose in sharing her experiences and becoming an elder care advocate. She uses her creative talents to produce films that shed light on the realities of Alzheimer's and the Nursing home system, hoping to inspire change and support for other caregivers.
About Susie:
Susie Singer Carter is a dedicated mother, filmmaker, and Alzheimer's advocate. She approaches filmmaking with the same purpose and care as raising her daughters, instilling values of confidence, curiosity, compassion, empathy, patience, grace, hope, and love. Her mission as a filmmaker goes beyond storytelling; she strives to dismantle ageism and ableism by crafting narratives that challenge stereotypes and celebrate diversity.
Her work highlights the richness of human experience, portraying characters who defy expectations and are empowered by their unique stories. In the feature film BRATZ, she created the character Dylan, a teenager with a disability who becomes a successful DJ despite being deaf. Her Oscar-qualified film, My Mom and The Girl, features Valerie Harper in her final performance, portraying Susie's mother who lived with Alzheimer's for 16 years.
Susie collaborates with actors, writers, and crew members who share her commitment to inclusivity and authenticity, creating films that resonate deeply with audiences and inspire change. She envisions a world where age and ability are celebrated, and everyone's story is valued.
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Confessions of a Reluctant Caregiver
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Known since childhood as “The Elliott Girls” or simply, “The Girls”, it makes sense that we work together to support our mother, and each other. Our trio begins with Jenefer Jane “JJ” who was and always will be “in charge”. She’s the peacekeeper. The responsible one, ensuring Natalie and Emilie remain alive. Next is Natalie, the middle child, who was and always will be Miss Congeniality. She’s the athlete. The rebel responsible for three babysitters exiting the summer of ’84. Then there is Emilie, the youngest, who was and always will be “the baby”. At 6’1”, she is the sensitive and quiet soul. The one responsible for the guinea pig that begged for lettuce and the stray dog we adopted from the bus stop.
After high school we went separate ways, from New Mexico to North Carolina. JJ would go on to get her Master’s in Business Administration and work in the finance world before partnering with her now husband, Dexter, to run a variety of businesses. Natalie would go on to get her Master’s in Social Work degree, and work in the mental health field, advocating for children and families to receive the most appropriate services. Natalie would marry and divorce early on but later marry Jason. Emilie would exit college early to marry and gift us with Owen and twins, Maxx and Natalie Jane aka “The Kids”. Emilie would later divorce and work with county government, focusing much time on caring for the kids.
The source of the sisterhood falls to Jim aka “Big Jim” and Connie, small town high school sweethearts married for almost 40 years.
In 2005, at the age of 52, mom would be diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. She hid the disease for years behind dad’s 6’2” frame. The tremors and sudden inability to move were both calmed and steadied by his arm and simple presence. He was her rock. Our rock. Close family and friends knew of her chronic illness, but to the rest of the world, everything was “fine”. Life would turn upside down when our dad unexpectedly passed in 2011 of a massive heart attack at the age of 58. The assumption was Dad would always be mom’s caregiver but that wasn’t God’s plan.
Mom would spend the years following our father’s death desperately seeking a cure for Parkinson’s while trying to manage her symptoms. As the years went by, the cruel symptoms associated with the disease increased, negatively impacting her body while her mind remained clear and in tune. We lived our lives checking in to make sure she was “okay” but knowing the day would come when we had to do more. And then it did. The summer of 2019 changed everything. That’s where the real caregiver story begins for us. Little did we know she would be only the beginning of our caregiving journey.
In March 2022, Natalie’s husband, Jason, was diagnosed with head and neck cancer. From the first time Jason detected something off about the swollen lymph nodes in his neck, to the formal diagnosis, and the decision to move to New York City to participate in a clinical trial at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, the journey would push them to their limits. The silver lining of his diagnosis was the cancer brought them closer to God, restoring their faith in Him while also experiencing a myriad of blessings through the kindness of family, friends, and strangers. Their story is a testimony that will inspire and offer hope.
