Let’s clear something up: talking isn’t the
same as communicating. If it were, a lot more people would feel heard,
understood, and appreciated. But as many of us have discovered the hard way,
communication is a two-part dance, and some of us have been stepping on toes
without even knowing it.
So, what does good communication look like,
especially in your 60s, 70s, and beyond? And how can we improve our skills
without losing our personality or sense of self?
Let’s talk about that. (And yes, this time, we’re listening
too.)
Talking at People vs. Talking with People
Most of us have met someone who only seems to pause in a
conversation so they can breathe or reload. They’re not really listening;
they’re performing. You’ll say something simple like, “I Love Gardening,” and
suddenly you’re treated to a ten-minute speech about their award-winning
tomatoes from 1983.
If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation feeling like
a prop in someone else’s story, you’ve felt the sting of one-sided
communication.
The truth is, many seniors fall into this trap
unintentionally. After all, we have decades of experience, stories, and Wisdom
to share. But when we forget to leave space for others to join in, we turn a
conversation into a monologue, and people start tuning out.
Good communication is a conversation, not a contest.
It’s not about who’s had the most exciting life or the longest resume. It’s
about connection.
The Building Blocks of Clear, Friendly Communication
Let’s break it down:
1. Clarity
Say what you mean. If you’re asking for help, ask clearly.
Don’t hint or beat around the bush. For example:
People aren’t mind readers, and unclear communication often
leads to frustration or misunderstandings.
2. Tone
You might have the right message, but the wrong delivery. If
you sound annoyed, critical, or dismissive (even if you don’t mean to), people
might back away. A friendly tone goes a long way. Smile. Use people’s names.
Say thank you.
Think of tone as the seasoning on a dish. Even the best
ingredients can taste off if you throw in too much salt.
3. Active Listening
This is the real secret sauce. Listening isn’t waiting for
your turn to speak, it’s tuning in, fully and intentionally. Try this:
It sounds simple, but it takes practice. And humility.
A Word About Group Settings
In group conversations, especially on boards or committees,
the way you communicate becomes even more important. Rambling, repeating
yourself, or straying off topic can unintentionally frustrate others. If this
happens often, people may begin to dismiss your contributions, even when you
have something valuable to say.
A good rule of thumb? Speak with purpose. Ask yourself:
It’s not about silence, it’s about timing.
Practice Makes Polite
You might be thinking, “At my age, I shouldn’t have to
change how I communicate!” But here’s the thing: we’re not changing who you are,
we’re updating the operating system so it works better in today’s social
environment.
We all want to be heard, understood, and accepted. And it
starts with showing others the same courtesy.
Final Thought
Good communication is more
than a skill; it’s a gift. One, you offer to others every time you slow down,
listen up, and speak with intention. When you do, you’ll find more people
willing to walk alongside you, not just out of respect, but out of genuine
connection
Originally Published on https://boomersnotsenior.blogspot.com/
