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The Healing Power of Hope and realistic expectations

 Hope is essential for our well-being, but what happens when
our expectations are unrealistic? Unrealistic expectations can set us up for
disappointment and disillusionment, making it harder to cope with life’s
challenges.

When Tom lost his wife of 40 years, he felt like his world
had ended. Grief consumed him, and he desperately hoped for a quick recovery
from his heartache. He expected that joining a grief support group would
immediately take away his pain and that journaling would swiftly restore his
sense of peace. However, these expectations were unrealistic. When relief
didn’t come quickly, Tom felt even more discouraged and disillusioned.

As he navigated the darkest period of his life, he found
solace in small ways, such as journaling and joining a grief support group.
However, it’s crucial to recognize that unrealistic expectations can lead to
disappointment and disillusionment.

Tom expected to “get over” his grief immediately,
only to feel frustrated and disappointed when his emotions didn’t subside as
quickly as he thought.

Tom expected his grief to be a straightforward process,
without realizing the depth of emotional pain and the need for time and
support. Repeated disappointment eroded his sense of hope, making it harder to
stay positive and motivated.

Tom  compared his
grief to that of others, and felt  like
he was not doing enough or not healing fast enough, leading to feelings of
inadequacy and hopelessness.

After living in this state for a few months Tom began to set
goals that were smaller, and achievable. Instead of expecting to “get
over” his grief immediately, Tom focused on small, daily tasks, such as
writing in his journal or attending his support group.

With help from his support group Tom acknowledged that his
grief is a natural process and that it’s okay to take time to heal. He started
to be kind to himself and recognized that he’s doing the best he can.

Tom is learning to live in the present, rather than dwelling
on the past or worrying about the future. This is helping him find peace and
hope in the midst of uncertainty.

Tom is beginning to acknowledge and celebrate his small
achievements, such as attending a support group meeting or writing in his
journal for a few minutes each day. This is  helping him build confidence and hope.

By setting realistic expectations and cultivating hope, Tom is
finding a more positive and empowering path forward. He is learning to navigate
his grief with greater ease, and eventually, he will find a sense of peace and
healing.

As Tom told me that he has started to enjoy the quiet
moments of solitude, and the journaling becomes a source of comfort. He finds
solace in the support group, where he can share his story and connect with
others who understand his pain.

One day, Tom said that he has been journaling for a year,
and he’s written over 500 pages. He looked back on his entries and saw how far
he’s come. He told me he felt  a sense of
pride and accomplishment, while recognizing that he has only taken small steps
towards healing.

Tom allowed me to share his story as I thought it was a
testament to the power of hope and realistic expectations. By acknowledging his
feelings, finding a supportive community, and setting achievable goals, he’s
able to navigate his grief and find a sense of peace. As he looks to the
future, Tom knows that he’ll continue to face challenges, but he’s also
confident that he’ll be able to overcome them, one small step at a time.

Originally Published on https://boomersnotsenior.blogspot.com/

I served as a teacher, a teacher on Call, a Department Head, a District Curriculum, Specialist, a Program Coordinator, and a Provincial Curriculum Coordinator over a forty year career. In addition, I was the Department Head for Curriculum and Instruction, as well as a professor both online and in person at the University of Phoenix (Canada) from 2000-2010.

I also worked with Special Needs students. I gave workshops on curriculum development and staff training before I fully retired

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