Some fun for February one for each day of the month; enjoy
1. She was only a moonshiner’s daughter, but I
miss her still
2. What do you call a pig with laryngitis?
Disgruntled
3. Why is “dark” spelled with a k and not c?
Because you can’t “c” in the dark
4. Just so everyone is clear, I’m going to put my
glasses on
5. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears
pierced? A buccaneer
6. I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist.”
7. I lost my girlfriend’s audiobook, and now I’ll
never hear the end of it
8. I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by.
I kneaded the dough.
9. Why do bees stay in their hives during winter?
Swarm
10. I’m trying to organize a hide and seek
tournament, but good players are really hard to find
11. 1 lost my job as a stage designer. I left
without making a scene
12. 12 When I told my contractor I didn’t want
carpeted steps, he gave me a blank stair
13. I stayed up all night wondering where the sun
went… then it dawned on me.”
14. Valentine’s Day is all about hearts…
especially when you eat the chocolate ones first.”
15. I got over my addiction to chocolate,
marshmallows, and nuts. I won’t lie; it was a rocky road
16. Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can
prevent florist friars
17. II stayed up all night wondering where the sun
went… then it dawned on me
18. Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a
clock? Well, time will tell
19. What did the surgeon say to the patient who
insisted on closing up his own incision? Suture self
20. My friends and I named our band ‘Duvet.’ It’s
a cover band.”
21. Bono and The Edge walk into a Dublin bar and
the bartender says, “Oh no, not U2 again”
22. I went to the toy store and asked where the
Schwarzenegger dolls are. “Aisle B, back
23. Prison is just one word to you, but for some
people, it’s a whole sentence
24. I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew
on me
25. Scientists studied the effects of alcohol on a
person’s walk, and the result was staggering
26. I told my suitcase there will be no vacation
this year, now it’s dealing with emotional baggage
27. My friends and I named our band ‘Duvet.’ It’s
a cover band.”
28. I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes.
It’s all about raisin awareness
Please send me your best groaner
Originally Published on https://boomersnotsenior.blogspot.com/
