I live on
the outskirts of Vancouver and might know the city’s reputation for
being friendly but reserved. Many newcomers describe it as a place where
forming deeper connections can be challenging. It’s a sentiment that resonates
across Canada, especially as adults and seniors find themselves in new life
stages where making friends doesn’t come as easily as it did in school days.
But why is it harder to make friends as we age? One explanation is the three key pillars of friendship: proximity, shared life experiences, and energy.
The
Three Pillars of Friendship
Proximity refers to how physically close
you are to others. When you live near someone or see them regularly, such as a
neighbour, you’re more likely to develop a friendship. For example, college dorm
studies show students living across the hall have a 90% chance of becoming
friends, while those at opposite ends of the dorm have only a 10% chance.
Shared
life experiences,
or “life cycle timing,” is another essential pillar. Think back to
your school years—you and your peers moved through life together. From
classrooms to shared milestones like exams, sports, and parties, you were
aligned in your life journey.
Finally, energy
is the glue that binds these pillars together. It reflects shared enthusiasm
for activities or interests, whether it’s cheering for a sports team, dancing,
or simply enjoying a regular coffee outing.
As young
adults, these pillars align naturally. But in our late 20s and beyond, life
begins to scatter us. Careers, marriages, children, and moves all challenge the
stability of these connections. By Retirement, the situation can feel even more
fragmented.
Why
Seniors Struggle to Form Friendships
For
seniors, the barriers to making friends can feel even higher. Proximity might
shrink as we become less mobile or live alone. Energy for activities may
diminish due to health concerns. Shared life experiences can also feel out of
sync—perhaps one senior is managing a chronic illness or caring for a spouse,
while another is focused on leisure activities or grandchildren.
This loss
of connection isn’t just emotional; it can affect your health, too. Studies
have shown that loneliness and social isolation increase the risk of conditions
like heart disease, Stroke, and even dementia. Seniors with strong social ties,
however, often enjoy better physical and Mental Health, longer lives, and more
positive outlooks.
Understanding these pillars and their challenges is the first step toward fostering new friendships in retirement. The good news is that there are many ways to rebuild these connections, and you don’t have to do it alone.
Originally Published on https://boomersnotsenior.blogspot.com/
