Recognize the Love You AREN’T Giving
Recognize the Love you’re not giving.
Ouch. And there’s truth here isn’t there?
Where do you walk away?
Stop listening?
Care Less?
We all do it at times when we are frustrated or tired or stressed or in crisis.
It’s far easier to pinpoint what we’re not getting than it is to be honest with ourselves about what we’re not giving.
Do you want people to check in with you more frequently? How often do you check in with them? Are you wanting more conversations about what’s going on in your life? How do you start these?
The year after Ted died, I was a terrible friend. I was consumed with everything on my plate and I started to notice that I dumped when I got together with friends. I started to notice that I wasn’t calling to ask how they were or bringing up things that were important to them. I sat my three best friends down each separately and apologized. There were gracious, but I know I hadn’t cared enough about them lately. I try to always remember this moving forward.
You hear it all the time. Give the type of love you’d like to receive back AND love others in the way they desire as well.
Give the type of love you want to receive. Give praise. Notice the little things. Offer help without it being asked of you.
I’m not suggesting you should always be the one giving. If it feels like a constant one-way street, (like I was doing after Ted died), then it might be time to reevaluate that relationship and have a heart to heart talk . But in most Relationships, giving more freely creates an environment of consideration and generosity.
And then of course there’s the other side of this coin: Ask for what you need! We can all learn to love each other better!
Dr. Heather Browne PsyD, LMFT helps people recognize the power of communication. It is one of our most important skills that we have, and yet we don’t consider our understanding, approach, belief, and therefore, miss our possibilities. Living with a paranoid schizophrenic mother gave Dr. Heather a unique and powerful awareness that no one has the same reality, though we believe we do. Utilizing this revolutionary awareness has allowed her to transform communication within self and within all other types of relationship. This is the hidden key to acceptance. And this is her mission to share.
As a relationship expert, Dr. Heather Browne has worked with thousands of individuals and couples in psychotherapy. She is a TedX Speaker and Keynote Speaker. Her couple’s communication book, Speaking with the Heart: Transforming Your Relationship and Communication with Compassion and Connection, which offers readers a practical way to understand what it takes to truly communicate on a deeper level, not just with their partner, but within themselves, is now available in both paperback and Kindle.
. She is published in hundreds of journals, has an active YouTube channel, has been featured on ABC-7 news, was the relationship expert on KDOC Daybreak OC, and is published in Inc., Toronto Sun, Thriving Family Magazine, Light + Life, BRAINZ, Scary Mommy, and Psychology Today. She is a regular guest blogger for both Links for Shrinks and for Marriage Friendly Therapists. She offers a weekly newsletter packed with tips and techniques to improve relationships and has monthly workshops! Simply go to her website!
https://www.drheatherbrowne.com/
