I’ve spent my career exploring what it means to live a meaningful life—and I keep coming back to one word: generativity. This concept encompasses mentoring, Volunteering, and Philanthropy—ways we give to others in order to gain meaning, fulfillment, and ultimately, a Legacy.
Of these, mentorship is the form of generativity I focus on most. To me, it’s not just about giving advice or paving a career path. It’s a two-way street—a deeply human relationship built on empathy, conviction, and mutual Growth. Connection is at the heart of mentorship, and as an applied developmental psychologist and founder of The Mentor Project, I’ve had the privilege of watching mentorship transform lives, including my own.
Not long ago, I joined the 12-Minute Convos Podcast to reflect on this journey—from my earliest memories of mentorship to the global impact of The Mentor Project today. That conversation reminded me how powerful these connections can be when they’re rooted in empathy and guided by conviction.
When people ask who my first mentor was, I always think of my grandfather. He was a towering figure in every way—physically, morally, and emotionally. And he was white. In the early 1970s, he served as the president of the NAACP in Des Moines, Iowa. As a white Catholic man living in a predominantly white state, his leadership in the civil rights movement was not typical—and it wasn’t always welcomed. But he was driven by a deep conviction for justice, inclusion, and the belief that everyone deserves to be seen and valued.
Every Saturday, he’d pick me up in his big Cadillac and drive me around town. As we passed people on the street, he’d tell me stories about them—what they might be feeling or going through. I used to think he knew everyone. He probably didn’t. But he always said, “You have to get to know people before you judge them. You can’t just look at the outside.”
That simple lesson has stayed with me all my life.
As a child, I didn’t fully understand the racial tensions of that time. My grandfather was known for advocating integration and civil rights—for both religious and racial equality. When I went out with him, I remember feeling uncomfortable and embarrassed by the way we were treated in restaurants and stared at in public. I didn’t understand what made us the target of such reactions. For a while, I wanted o stop going out with him altogether. I begged my mom to let me stay home. When I was with my parents or other grandparents, people smiled and said things like, “How cute you are!” That positive attention contrasted sharply with the rejection I experienced when I was with him. It wasn’t until later that I realized he was teaching me one of the most profound lessons of all: You don’t need to be liked by everyone. You need to follow your convictions.
That lesson—the importance of standing up for what’s right and seeing people for who they are, not just how they appear—became a foundation of my life’s work.
I believe that mentorship is a service to humanity. When I help someone find their path, I feel like I’m honoring my grandfather’s legacy and continuing the work he started. And truthfully, it brings me so much joy—even in the face of inevitable challenges. Because this work isn’t always easy. But it’s always worth it.
That’s what inspired me to write my new book, The Mentorship Edge. It’s not just a guide—it’s a reflection of what I’ve learned through years of mentor-mentee Relationships. It’s a call to action for anyone who wants to connect, contribute, and grow.
If there’s one message I hope people take from this book—and from my work—it’s this: You don’t need to have all the answers to be a great mentor. You just need to be willing to show up, listen, care, and grow alongside someone else. Because mentorship isn’t just something we do. It’s something we live.
So whether you’re a mentor, a mentee, or simply someone seeking more purpose and connection, I invite you to step into this space with me. Let’s keep building something meaningful—together.
Because mentorship isn’t about titles or achievements. It’s about who we are—and who we’re becoming.
To purchase The Mentorship Edge in kindle, hard copy, and audiobook, click here.
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Originally Published on https://deborahheiserphd.substack.com/
