When you introduce yourself, how do you identify yourself beyond your name? Likely, you identify yourself with your job title: teacher, lawyer, professor, doctor, police officer, entrepreneur, banker…. You get the gist.
Our job title is our go-to for letting people know who we are, and it is common for us to internalize our identity via our title: I teach, I am a doctor, or I am a salesperson. The problem is that such labels don’t convey anything profound about who we are and only focus on what we do. Our passions, goals, and talents beyond our job titles often go unrecognized by others—and ourselves.
We are conditioned from early childhood to aspire to have a title. The timeless question adults ask children is, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” The question is a setup for a lifetime of identifying with a title (with what we do). Our business card becomes our identity card. Our card-carrying days are fine— until we don’t hold that card anymore. Poof…we are left not knowing who we are.
The loss of an identity card through a job change, job loss, or Retirement can lead to an identity crisis in which we ask ourselves: “Who am I?” and “What do I tell people when they ask what I do?”. These questions don’t need to be frightening. No need for a crisis!
Rather, we need to take the time to move our identity from an outward focus to an inward focus—an identity shift to gain control of our narrative and, ultimately, an identity script change. Our life narrative does not remain the same, so the ability to look inward and to have a deeper understanding of who we are is a buffer for times of transition.
We go through identity shifts with each adult decade, from our first job to marital status, to parent. Our roles change when we add a partner, a job, a child. They also change when we become empty nesters and retire. As our roles change, our titles and the “what we do” titles change.
Reframing identity from an outward (I am my job title) to inward focus (I am passionate about…, or I have a goal to accomplish…) can be an opportunity to explore ourselves and find out what really matters to us. An inward shift moves our narrative from “what I do“ to “who I am.“ We are left looking in the mirror at our identity once again; however, we can put ourselves first this time.
Identity projects are a great way to renew and rewrite our identity (Shau, 2009). We should think of ourselves as consumers and take in social activities, embark on passion projects, and engage in self-expression. We digest all we consume, shift our identity inward, and see ourselves more broadly than a title.
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We can change our narrative and take on roles we didn’t have the ability to assume when we were in our work roles. Perhaps advocacy or painting was a passion, but you didn’t have time while working. This is also a chance to revive past inspirations with present and future aspirations. This is a time when retirees can move from outward, measured productivity as seen in the workplace to self-expression and affiliation.
We all have points in our lives when we may have a shift in our identity—when we begin adulthood, leave home and start on our own, become parents, take on titles. And, likewise, when we retire. Identity grows with us as we age through each decade.
When we retire, downsize, or become empty nesters, our identities will shift with us, affording us the opportunity to grow and change, take on new roles, expand roles, and ultimately, determine our place in the world. Inward shifts of thinking help us make the necessary transitions and help us have a deeper understanding of our identity.
References
Schau, Gilly, M. C., & Wolfinbarger, M. (2009). Consumer Identity Renaissance: The Resurgence of Identity‐Inspired Consumption in Retirement. The Journal of Consumer Research, 36(2), 255–276. https://doi.org/10.1086/597162
If you would like to read this in Psychology Today’s The Right Side of 40, or access other platforms by Deborah Heiser, click here.
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Originally Published on https://deborahheiserphd.substack.com/
