To begin, I want to share a few possible scenarios that lead to a breakdown or a non-functioning communication. First of all, how often do we listen to another person with the intention to come up with a response that can prove that my point of view is the correct one? Does that create anything? Am I actually hearing what the other is saying? No. 

A second scenario is that communication is controlled by victim mentality. There is so much of that. I don’t mean this in a derogatory way, but people buy into the idea that they are a victim. So the communication is controlled by their victim mentality, claiming that they are victimized again in that communication. What is being heard? Nothing! As sad as it is, nothing is heard of what has been said. 

Another possibility is that communication stays on the surface. It’s either too scary or we are unable to express what we need without making the other wrong, without attacking The other doesn’t know what I need, Again, what am I hearing? Not much of what is being said. 

And as the last one, communication stays in polarity. There are the two opposing points of view, and we’re not hearing what might change that Continuing to have these opposing points of view, because we’re not really listening. We’re not actually hearing the other. Truly hearing the other point of view does not mean that there are no longer opposing views.

When getting an image for this post, I realized another challenge. How do you communicate with people who are no longer used to communicate face to face. Younger generations are used to communicate via texts. I have seen them out for a meal, each on their cell phone and laughing. I could not help but wonder, did they laugh at a joke one sent via text.

As a result, I wonder, what if we let go of all the thoughts about the other, the judgments we have of the other. What if we have the desire to truly hear what the other says and make the effort to check by asking questions, by repeating what we heard. Making sure we heard correctly. What if we appreciated the other as another human being? Just being present with what is being said, taking time before answering and actually responding, not reacting. What if we ask questions? What if, when we communicate with someone else, we’re actually in our heart, not in our head, because most of the issues that I mentioned come from being in the head, not in the heart. 

I am keeping this one short, yet invite you to download a quick read on the Art of Communication with tips for better communication.