As many of you know Catherine Elizabeth Popp passed away on September 26, 2025, after a 12-year ordeal with Early Onset Alzheimer’s. My previous blog, Kismet, gives you the details of her final personified powers and passing. Some people live longer than others; however, she lived better than most. No one wins in the game called life. Our time together was filled with quality of life and many moments of joy. We lived and loved by the additive model, what more can we do?
I have written three poems over the last 12 years. One in my first book, Running All Over the World, Our Race Against Early-Onset Alzheimer’s, entitled, Retirement.
One in my second book, One Footstep at a Time, Our Race against Early-Onset Alzheimer’s Continues, entitled, Nomads.
Here is the third poem which has yet to be published, entitled EOA.
Early Onset-Alzheimer’s
Three simple vowels can mean so much
but for how early is often asked.
How early depends on so much
but no one seems to know the past.
Why me is often asked.
What did I do or did not do?
You had so many plans
and so many things to do.
But now the future is so uncertain
and now we have no clue.
Onset grabs you in your prime
but not just for you.
It shows who loves whom.
Your Family, your friends, or even a passing acquaintance.
All the loved ones that you once knew.
But only your partner
who is now your caregiver
knows for sure.
They will never leave your side
if they truly care.
Some call them a hero
when they often feel
like a zero.
They learn to understand
and try to slow the onset.
It is never unclear
what they never want you to forget.
Do they continue to go to work
and leave you home alone in a chair,
when they come home
all they get is a blank stare?
Should we settle into a routine
or should try something new
put everything in storage
and find a new view?
No guidance is provided as we chart the decline.
Hoping the decline is not a high-speed slide
but more like a power-off glide.
A glide to a soft landing but more likely
a rough and bumpy ride.
Alzheimer’s means so much
but so little is known
not even a hunch.
Waiting for the end
but that might be as long as a decade.
Years for many and decades for a few.
Many watch but only a few will truly see.
It might show them their future
of how it might be.
Some loved ones want to remember
only the brighter days
but if the truth be told
the inflicted only want a loving hand to hold.
A funny story to be told
or just a simple loving gaze.
They are easily forgotten
so in turn, they hide.
Maybe one day there will be a cure
but now they put their plan
to the side.
Alzheimer’s is much more than your memory.
That is where it starts
but as time goes on
it breaks your heart.
It steals who you are.
It takes your personality
that made you a star.
Shining bright but now going dim.
It is a lot less than a death sentence
some might think.
But this one is so unpredictable
and you can be gone in a blink.
How do we spend the years or decades
is not often our choice.
Some only hope they are not put in a home
with strangers all around in rooms
you’re not allowed to roam.
In your mind, you’re truly all alone.
They only want to be loved
not so easily forgotten.
They try so hard to form a simple sentence
no matter who they are.
Some have resilience
but for how long?
Will it be tomorrow
no one seems to know.
Many offer pills and easily take your Money
as they catch you with their lure.
Some have puzzles
still, others suggest games
a few say use it or lose it
but no one knows for sure.
Sing, dance, or Exercise should be the plan
but in reality, they were dealt
a very bad hand.
Will you get impatient
not willing to wait and see?
Will you take the easy path
and take it on your own?
They stop eating
so they can hold on to the last thing
that will take them back home.
We chose to see the world
as we did it on foot.
Like others not knowing
for how long
but we know
that we will always be together
No matter what.
We spent the last 3 1/2 months on the Island Nation of St. Kitts and this was our 6th trip to this beautiful island. Over the years we have spent over 8 months there. This will give some perspective on our final trip there.
The protracted period from diagnosis to death from Alzheimer’s disease.
My wife of 26 years was diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer’s 11 years ago at the age of 53. Our initial response to the diagnosis was to sell everything, become nomads, and run marathons and other races of various distances all over the world. I have written two books on our experiences, done numerous podcasts, and have had many articles written about our counterintuitive approach to life with this disease.
We are now in a lovely villa within the Marriott resort complex in St. Kitts. We have gone from the long laundry list of the typical and not-so-typical undesirable traits as we go through the 7 stages of the disease progression. We have also experienced a longer list of things she can no longer do for herself.
What I have found to be unexpected is how life is now for us in this final stage. We spend most days just enjoying each other’s company even though she can no longer do the things that brought us together.
We now spend time on the couch cushions neatly arranged on the condo floor arm and arm. Watching TV or listening to music or better still looking at pictures of our past times together on the TV slide show from Amazon Pictures. I tell her stories of all the things we have done or seen together. Sometimes she smiles or laughs if I laugh at myself but mostly she just listens expressionless.
Other times we tour the beautiful property here while I push her in the adult-size stroller I call the CatMobile, Cat is my pet name for her. The Atlantic Ocean is steps away with the Caribbean Sea 1 mile down the road. Our view from our balcony is one of three pools here and so some afternoons are spent just helping her walk and sometimes float in the pool.
Other individuals afflicted with terminal diseases, whether it’s Cancer that has metastasized beyond the reach of treatment, or Heart Disease that has fatally weakened cardiac muscle, retain the basic elements of their personalities until they draw their final breaths. But with Alzheimer’s disease, as it slowly progresses, the components of an individual’s personality are worn away along with their cognitive skills and memory. Usually, near the end, they no longer even speak. Cat has not spoken in over two years. Their body declines, but the pace of their cognitive decline is speedier.
Usually, by the time someone with Alzheimer’s disease dies, the traits, tendencies, and abilities the person possessed have long since departed. Friends and family of the individual with Alzheimer’s disease become strangers, and, in a sense, the individual with Alzheimer’s disease becomes a stranger to family and friends.
That fact often changes the grieving process for those left behind. When death does come, it often seems like the person they knew and loved has, for all intents and purposes, been gone for a while.
We have been here for three months with the plan to remain here for another 4 months then back to Atlanta where we have had our hub for the last 11 years. Where to go after that is undetermined but the planning process has begun with a possible very leisurely road trip by car to the west coast.
The stage we are now experiencing can be unpredictable but neither of us is in any rush for the final goodbye. What I am experiencing now is very enjoyable and she seems very content. I tell her often how much I Love her and I know she loves me just as much just by looking into her eyes. Those are the same eyes that I first fell in love with those many years ago.
So much about her has changed, but nothing will change the fact that we spent so many great years together doing and seeing things many others can only dream about, and now, in this quiet chapter, we remain side by side—not in farewell, but in The Silent Embrace.
Cat had always expressed an interest in being cremated and I was able to fulfill her wish. We would talk about what to do with her ashes and the traditional Urn was not what she was interested in doing. We never went into details but tossed around the idea of me continuing to Travel and the possibility of scattering some of her ashes in memorable places for both of us. You have to understand that Cat and I traveled as Nomads to every state in the US at least 3 times and visited over 83 different countries with multiple cities in most of them. Suffice it to say there are a lot of memorable places for me to consider.
I will honor her by scattering her ashes all over the world. I will continue to travel and run while visiting friends that we made all over the world. She will forever be in my heart and her spirit will guide me forever. I am not alone because she will always be with me.
Some might wonder how I am doing and what I have been doing for the past 6 months so I have been encouraged to continue writing and hope that this gives all reading this a good idea of what is possible after caring for a loved one with early-onset Alzheimer’s. By no stretch of the imagination has it been easy. I have gone through the various stages of Grief several times and some stages more than others. Each time I tried to resolve in my brain something tangible that I could grasp so that the cycle would not continue.
Some say that I should run again. I do miss the feeling of being airborne but at the same time, I can’t imagine running without her. I feel it will be too painful. Maybe I should carry something with me so that she is with me. I was convinced by others that since she brought running into my life, she would want me to continue running. I will run when I want and walk the rest of the time. I bought a necklace of a blue butterfly and put some ashes in it. I have one of her rings similar to the one I wear and she bought it for both of us attached to the necklace. You can hear the two of them clanging together and it reminds me of the end of, It’s a Wonderful Life. The part when they hear the tree ornament bell ring and the little girl says. “Every time you hear a bell it is an angel getting its wings.” It lets me take a second to think about her. I wear it during races and clutch it as I cross the finish line as we did hand in hand all the time.
Shortly after her passing I leased a vehicle and went on a 3-month meandering road trip back and forth across the country. I flew to and from Niagara, Canada from Charlotte, North Carolina. Back and forth to Indiana for her celebration of life from San Diego and to and from LA to Honolulu. The following was written on December 19th 2025.
I started my 12th year as a nomad today, leaving Memphis, Tennessee, for Jackson, Mississippi. This will be stop number 54 in the last 3 months and I have seen just about the same number of folks while scattering Cat’s ashes in 32 memorable places so far. Over the 11 years, I have packed up my suitcase a total of 872 times which equates to 4.5 days per stop.
During this epic meandering road trip across the country, I will have driven 10,000 miles. At night I am going through over 20,000 photos and deleting duplicates or those that no longer have meaning, for example, a bush in the middle of who knows where. While driving I have been listening to our first book on Audible and it has given me three lasting impressions. The first being, I can’t believe we have done all that we have done, and second that Cat was right there by my side the entire time always with a big smile on her face. The third and most important is how amazing a person she was.
I also on this trip, I have run/walked 5k distance in 20 states for a total of 23, 10k distance in 5 states for a total of 37 states, and one marathon for my 45th state and 70th marathon. Granted most were by myself. Six of those states were done with my Mainly Marathon family. It was great seeing them all and the condolences really helped. As a token of my appreciation over the years, I was able to give out some autographed copies of our second book.
Near the end of the first 5 years, Cat and I took a 45-day trip which included 18 flight legs, 5 different countries, two safaris, and one 4-night cruise in Africa. This would also include a half-marathon in South America and a 10k in Africa. Near the end of my first book, I talk about slowing down and there is a quote by my son, Aaron. “Dad, you have been on the road as long as I have known you.” Now that Cat is gone I will be focusing on taking care of myself and enjoying watching the grands grow to be responsible adults.
Another quote in my second book. “I haven’t been everywhere but it is on my list.” People often ask how much longer until I settle down. Cat and I’s plan was to find someplace to live but after about 4 days we were ready to move on. I doubt that will change anytime soon and I have numerous trips planned each month for 2026. As long as I am healthy and capable I will continue to travel with reckless abandon.
I did get a bit despondent and that worried me. I was wondering what was there to live for without her. I came up with 3 great reasons to stay on this earth and meet up with Cat at a later time. One, my kids. They already lost their mom while they were in their 30s so they don’t need to have me leave them also. Two, my grandkids. I might not make it to see them graduate from College or have kids of their own but it would be great to see as much of their lives as possible. Three, Cat would want me to live as long as possible.
I now understand why a spouse or loved one dies shortly after their significant other. I thought I had it figured out and that I did not have to worry about it. I can feel the elevated cordisal levels. I am trying my best to compensate with daily exercise but everywhere I look I see something that reminds me of her. They call this, Broken Heart Syndrome. Broken heart syndrome is a heart condition that’s often brought on by stressful situations and extreme Emotions, ie death of a loved one. I can only imagine what others go through being in the house they lived in together for 50 years or more with constant reminders everywhere they turn.
I also wondered why I did not cry when she passed or any day afterwards. I would well up but then I would get myself under control. I thought it was just the pilot in me handling the emergency without getting wrapped around the axle. A friend of ours told me that she did not cry when her mom died and a friend of hers said that it is because her mom is with her every time she goes birding. Her mom used to go herself. Our friend then said that I have not cried because she is with me every time I travel, go for a walk, or run.
Here is a great poem someone sent to me.
And when you miss me most, remember that I have only built a house next door. A single breath away. We can whisper through the walls. And send love notes in the shape of stars and sunsets and the way that the light glistens on the water just so. And although things are hard for you now, I am not far away. I am absent only in flesh but my spirit is dancing with the heavenly ones. We will meet again. I promise, just not yet. Find laughter again, okay. Find music, purpose, and ways to feel alive. We are only separated by a glimmer of time, an interval. Take comfort, I have only built a house next door.
Here are nine truths that I will continue to hold dear to my heart.
My Mantra moving forward.
We are Love
We are the Light
We are the Truth
We are one
They say rituals are very helpful and powerful so in that vane this is what I have done to honor her memory.
Next to my bed I have hanging up her last medal for her 50th state in Rhode Island. Pinned to the lanyard is an owl. I have the bracelet that was made for both of us in St. Kitts and a pouch with some of her ashes along with one ring and bracelet and a blue heart-shaped stone. Pinned to the pouch is a blue butterfly and a necklace with butterflies on one side and the word soar on the other side. I say goodnight and good morning to her every day. I miss her so much.
I must say it was really smart to leave Brookdale when we did. We lighted there for almost two years while she also struggled with seizures. For us to enjoy the last 4 1/2 months near the ocean was a great idea. The first month started on her birthday, May 1, on St. Simons Island. It helped both of us as she slowly slipped away. It eased our collective pain.
As a pilot, you are taught not to back down from your fears. Your experience and training will help you through any emergency that might come up. With that said I did not back away from any fears I had with doing things, going places, and seeing old friends from our past. I call them triggers. It could be as simple as walking along the beach. Cat and I would run or walk along the beach anywhere there was one as we traveled all over the world.
I faced that fear/trigger while in San Diego. Mission Beach was one of our favorite beaches and we had been there several times over the years. During the road trip, I spent 2 weeks there on and off and one day I was finally able to walk along the beach there. I ran/walked many a day on the adjacent boardwalk but I had not walked right along the water with my shoes off as of yet. I had mixed emotions. One of finality and one of a new beginning. They say that hearing the sound of the ocean is very soothing and that was the case here.
My son, daughter-in-law, and youngest grandchild joined me as the sun was setting over the water and you can tell by this picture that a lot of reflection was taking place.
Another fear/trigger was the celebration of life that took place the day after Thanksgiving in Indiana. Her daughter and sister put together a fabulous Celebration of Life.
Unlike a formal service in a church or crematorium, a celebration of life is more casual and often more personalized.
The focus is on remembering the good times and creating a space where friends and family can come together to honor their loved one in a way that feels right.
They even organized a family run walk 5K in the morning. The start finish was 1/4 mile from where Cat and I lived before we became nomads. Two of my three kids, 3 of my 4 grands plus my sister and sister-in-law were all there. I had mixed feelings about the event but listening to what they all had to say about Cat did in fact bring some closure.
I believe that I have finally come to peace with her passing. She gave her blood, saliva, and brain to Alzheimer’s research. We also did an 18-month clinical trial on a drug that ended up not going to the market. The two books and the numerous articles written about us are an inspiration and have helped many afflicted with this terrible disease. We had a 15-minute professionally done video by CNN that has inspired thousands.
I realized that I did all I could do to provide her quality of life which in turn gave her the longest quantity of life possible. Now I can focus on my quality of life which I am sure will greatly extend my quantity of life. I for once can now concentrate on taking care of myself.
The next portion of my travels to honor Cat started with my return to St. Kitts. The original plan was for Cat and me to be there until Jan 3rd 2026, so some of my family had made plans to join us for that final week. I hesitated at first to return since I knew St. Kitts would have a minefield full of triggers but as I said earlier I do not back away from them. Unfortunately, it was much worse than I had anticipated. The reason is that is where she declined the most and everywhere I turned there were stark reminders. On the positive side, I was with my family and it was a joy to spend quality time with 3 of my four grands.
To make matters more complicated Cat’s ashes were impounded for a few days while I supplied customs with the required paperwork. I won’t go into details here but it was a very stressful first few days. I was able to scatter her ashes in both the Atlantic Ocean and the Caribbean Sea. I was using a travel container for her ashes and after this experience I decided to use two travel size containers used for lotion so I will not have that problem ever again.
The other wrinkle was that Caribbean airspace was closed on our scheduled departure day so we all had to scramble for new flights the following week, since Delta only flies to Atlanta on Saturday. We also had to find accommodations for that additional week. This also required me to reschedule routine doctor and dentist appointments along with dinner arrangements I had made with friends in the Atlanta area.
After a few days in Atlanta, I was back on a shiny Delta jet for, this time, RIO Brazil. This was the start of my 33-day trip overseas. During my last job at UPS, I was the South American Chief Pilot so I have flown to this neck of the woods several times along with a few times with Cat and I have toured the area numerous times over the years. After Brazil, I went over to Lisbon to start my European honoring Cat tour. I toured seven different countries and visit three cities I had never been to. I was able to visit with 7 more folks bringing the total to 72 overall.
I had planned on going to Poland to add number 84 to the list of countries I have visited but turned out to be too costly, time consuming and down right cold. That in turn gave me two nights in Rotterdam instead of just one. I had never been to Rotterdam so I was able to add that to the list of countless foreign cities I have visited. It ended up snowing while there which only added to the adventure. Also I did run/walk a 5k distance in each of the cities bringing the total of countries I have run/walked at least a 5k to 39 You can say I am a numbers guy. I use them as a form of accountability while at the same time setting and achieving goals more than anything else.
The preparation for this portion of the trip had me go from my usual 50-pound checked luggage to one small carry-on plus my backpack. There were a lot of planes, trains, busses, trams and automobiles on this trip. The challenge was that I had to have clothes for the 90-degree temperatures in Brazil to the 30’s in Berlin, Rotterdam and Amsterdam. I found that using vacuum sealed bags was a must. Logistics is my forte so it only made the trip more interesting. My usual schedule was about two nights each in the 14 cities I visited. I did do the overnight train from Nice to Paris simply because I had never done so before but it is not highly recommended. My last stop before returning to Atlanta was Amsterdam. Cat and I would stop off there for a few days coming and going to and from the States.
Upon my return I got a bit depressed. First I thought that since I am so mission oriented and I now had just a few action items left to honor Cat that was the problem. Also since it was still winter in Atlanta getting bundled up to go run or walk was not high on my list of things to do so I was lacking my daily endorphin fix.
Turns out I was having a visceral reaction to pictures and memories of Cat along with some season affective disorder. Now I just remind myself that I will forever be sad over her passing and reminisce on all the things she taught me over the years.
Visceral feelings are feelings that you feel very deeply and find it difficult to control or ignore, and that are not the result of thought.
With great tribulation, I finished my worldwide honoring Cat tour with our lifelong friends at Marathon Expeditions. John and Jenny convinced me to join them on a hiking and the Canyonlands Half-Marathon trip in Moab Utah.
I never back away from my fears and this is just another example all while knowing that this trip would be very triggering in so many ways. One being my first half-marathon without her.
Per usual the group met up for Pizza and camaraderie. The last time I went on a trip with them was in January 2022, in Costa Rica. You can read all about that trip which I called the Beauty and the Beast.
After they recognized folks for hitting many milestones with the group, for some strange reason I could feel my blood pressure rising and my breath becoming shallow. I believe it was due to the expression on Jenny’s face while at the same time watching John start to light three candles.
Before I knew it, Jenny said she wanted to read a poem she had written to the group. At this point my knees became weak and this is the poem she read.
One Footstep at a Time
Tonight we light a candle
for Catherine.
Not for the illness
that tried to take her story,
but for the love
that carried it forward.
Tony and Catherine
ran the world together.
Not just on roads and trails,
but through countries,
cities, and years most people
only dream about.
Eleven years as wanderers,
two hearts chasing sunrises,
race bibs pinned to hope and love.
When the road began to change,
Tony didn’t stop.
When Catherine’s steps
grew shorter,
his stride simply adjusted.
And when running side by side
was no longer possible,
he kept running
with her.
Hands on the handles
of the Cat Mobile,
pushing forward
mile after mile,
step after step,
love carrying the weight
that memory could not.
That kind of love
is not loud.
It does not ask for applause.
It simply shows up
every morning
and says,
“We go again.”
So tonight we remember Catherine,
her smile,
her courage,
the miles she traveled
with the man who loved her
all the way to the end.
And we honor Tony,
for showing us
what devotion looks like
when the road gets long.
Because some journeys
are not measured in miles,
but in the quiet promise
to walk beside someone
One footstep at a time.
And tonight,
as this candle burns,
Catherine’s light
runs on with us.
She then called me up to speak and now my breath was so heavy that all I could remember was me prematurely blowing out two of the candles and asking Jenny to stay close to make sure I didn’t fall.
The three candles represented one for Cat one for me and the last for this fabulous group. The inscription on the wooden candle holder read.
Those whom we love don’t go away, they walk beside us every day.
Unseen, Unheard but always near, so lived, so missed, so very dear.
The next day the group of 70 split up into 7 groups ranging from advanced hikers called peak pursuits to moderate, called trails and vistas to easy going with scenic explorer. I, being the Vista junkie I picked the trail and the Vista hike. We went on 5 separate hikes within the Canyonlands National Park and had a wonderful lunch at one of the awe-inspiring vistas called Whale Rock.
The other hikes included, Green River Overlook, Shaffer Trail Overlook, Grand View Trail, and Aztec Butte.
I was a little apprehensive doing these total of 5-mile hikes since the half marathon was the next day and it had been over 1 year since I did my last one in Atlanta. Also, the starting elevation for the race was 4,000 feet on a somewhat hilly course.
The race itself went well. The course was along the Colorado River and was mostly rolling hills with a somewhat aggressive decline from mile 4 to 6. That meant on the return since this was an out-and-back course a negative split was out of the question. What goes down must come back up.
I was very happy with my, 2 minutes faster than my last half marathon. I had my necklace with the butterfly pendant and her ring attached. Her Nike hat was attached to my hydration belt where a small TSA-approved flask had some of her ashes. I also had my Running with Cat T-Shirt on.
The following day we had several more hikes in Arches National Park for a total of 7 miles. My legs rebounded well however mentally I was clearly not prepared for portions of the hike which required me to be on all fours or my butt scooting on top of the rock face. We hiked the Devil’s Garden to see Landscape Arch which is the longest arch in the world and Double O Arch, which is the tallest arch in the park. There are over 2000 arches in the park.
We also got to see Navajo Arch, Double Arch, and Delicate Arch. During lunch, I was able to find the perfect place to scatter some of Cat’s ashes.
During the last six months since her passing, I have scattered her ashes in 45 memorable places around the world. I have made 83 stops averaging a little over 2 days per stop. Half as many days per stop when Cat and I traveled as Nomads for 11 years.
I have also visited with 85 friends and relatives in the last 6 months.
At the end of these trips, we all met up to celebrate our accomplishments and I was selected to receive a yellow hat for my courage to start. The last time we were together in Costa Rica Cat and I were honored with the Courage to Love award. Here are my thoughts on the Courage to Love Award.
Some take the easy way out when going down this path. They throw up their hands and simply find someone else to do the daily tasks. You could also say on Cat’s part it takes courage to love someone as much as she loves me, to trust me to the point she does, most times, while not knowing exactly where she is and what we are about to do. The same trust a blind person has for their cane or dog. The other way to look at it is that it takes a great deal of courage to throw caution to the wind and follow your love/passion for running and combining that with your love/passion for travel.
Yes, I do have the courage to start with this group doing what Cat and I loved to do this time without her by my side but forever in my heart.
It is now time for me to start a new chapter in my life. To find moments of joy now without her. On the trail where she took her last breath is this sculpture.
Here is an adaptation to quote from a portion of a poem that I would like to leave you with and sums up how I feel moving forward
“Turn towards the sun and all shadows will fall behind you.”
• The quote appears on Michael Alfano’s sculpture “Liquid Sunshine” in Boston, where it’s explicitly labeled:
“Adapted from Charles Swain.” Swain uses the metaphor of turning toward light as a way of cultivating inner strength and moral Clarity. The relevant passage includes lines about:
• Facing the light
• Letting shadows fall away
• Choosing brightness over gloom
Look ever to the light!
Though clouds may intervene,
The rays of truth and right
Shine steadfast and serene.
With that sentiment I have decided to have this be my final posting. I will continue to write private notes to myself since I find it to be very therapeutic. To all that have encouraged me over the years I thank you and hope our paths cross once again.
Take care and remember life is so very short so don’t put off until tomorrow something you could have done yesterday.
Tony and Cat
The post On the Road Again first appeared on Running With Cat.
