Salwa’s 4-year-old daughter is incredibly smart and mature. She understands and makes connections at a much more advanced level than other kids her age. But when she doesn’t understand something, it has a devastating effect on her and she tends to shut down. Further, the problem has begun to leak into other parts of her life: her inability in most areas will produce the same effect in her.
Today, we talk about the perfectionistic tendencies behind this behavior and what Salwa can do to encourage her daughter to try new things even when she might not succeed. We talk about instilling the idea that you don’t have to put 100% of yourself into everything you do, and that it’s okay not to be good at everything. We define positive reinforcement and discuss why the common understanding of it can be problematic. We talk about introducing the concept of trial and error, and we discuss the benefits of talking to your children about your failures and explaining that they’re actually an exciting chance to experiment and play around with ideas.
“Reinforcement comes from engagement.” – Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
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