Why does happiness sometimes feel out of reach even when you think you are doing everything right? You take steps forward, check the boxes, show up for the people you Love, but underneath it all, something still feels unsettled. Life can start to feel rushed, full, or emotionally heavy, yet you can’t quite put your finger on it.

This is what happens when you’re not prioritizing the foundational keys to happiness and, in turn, living with a dysregulated nervous system. When your body stays in a constant threat response—do more, earn more, and achieve more is when your nervous system becomes overwhelmed. Sleep becomes harder, and when you do wake up, you feel exhausted.

In this solo episode of Confessions of a Freebird, I reflect on the work of Dr. Laurie Santos, Yale professor, host of The Happiness Lab, and one of the leading voices in positive psychology. Her research offers a grounded look at how to feel happier, and I add a somatic lens to the conversation, because happiness is not only a mindset issue–it happens when you have a regulated nervous system.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why chasing success before happiness has it backwards — and what the science actually shows
• The Somatic Experiencing perspective on each principle and why the body is the missing piece of the happiness conversation
• Why your nervous system state and learning nervous system regulation matter more than your mindset
• How self-compassion and emotional agility help feelings move through you with less shame and fear
• The 10 principles Dr. Santo says genuinely move the needle on human happiness, which include more human connection and social connection.
• What prosocial behavior does to your mood, and why the helper high matters more than you might think
• How to implement each principle with specific, research-backed practices.

This episode is for you if you've ever felt like you were doing everything right and still not feeling the way you thought you would. You are allowed to slow down, listen inward, and find your way back to what helps you feel more alive.

Much love,

Laurie

Click here to learn about my NEW “Nervous System Regulation Starter Kit” 

Click here to purchase my book: Sandwiched: A Memoir of Holding On and Letting Go

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Website

RESOURCES MENTIONED

Dr. Laurie Santos: Yale professor and host of The Happiness Lab podcast

The Happiness Lab Podcast: Available wherever you listen to podcasts

Somatic Experiencing: Developed by Dr. Peter Levine, PhD — a body-based approach to healing Trauma and nervous system dysregulation

Researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky: Positive psychology research on happiness and success

The Harvard S

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Laurie James Laurie James, Author, Podcaster, and Somatic Relationship Coach

Hi, I'm Laurie James...a mother, divorcée, recovering caregiver turned author, somatic relationship coach, and podcaster. My podcast, Confessions of a Freebird, was inspired by my youngest of four children leaving the nest and is the sequel to my book, Sandwiched: A Memoir of Holding On and Letting Go.

My memoir is about my journey from loneliness to finding belonging during a time when I was raising four teenage daughters, my mother had a heart attack and needed care, all while my marriage began to crumble underneath me.

Now I love helping people divorce, heal, and date differently in midlife. I love blending my somatic training and coaching to help clients develop a better relationship with their bodies and nervous system. Doing so allows them to find the inner freedom to experience more happiness, joy and create the life they desire through nervous system regulation.

When I'm not coaching clients or podcasting, I can be found nurturing my free spirit by walking my adopted husky Lu, skiing, sailing, hiking, spending time with my four adult daughters, close friends or planning my next adventure.