Ever feel like you’re drawn to the wrong people—repeatedly? That pull isn’t random. It’s often old patterns and unhealed wounds running the show, not true safety or connection.

If dating has left you feeling confused, overwhelmed, or ready to give up, you’re not imagining it—and you’re not alone.

In this episode, I sit down with Bernardo Mendez, relationship coach and creator of one of YouTube’s top dating advice channels, for a grounded look at what’s really happening beneath the surface—especially in dating in midlife. Using a neuroscience-based approach, Bern has helped hundreds of women move past subconscious patterns into healthier, more conscious connections.

We talk about how unhealed wounds and nervous system triggers shape your choices in Love. Bern shares what he’s learned from guiding women through heartbreak, healing, and aligned Relationships. If you’ve ever felt like you’re “too much,” “not enough,” or just tired of the same dating challenges, this one’s for you.

You’ll learn:

• Why nervous system regulation is key to attraction and lasting emotional connection
• The difference between chemistry, fireworks, and Trauma bonds
• Why giving someone three dates can shift everything
• What grounded dating expectations really look like
• How to spot aligned relationship dynamics early
• Why curiosity builds more safety than checklist energy
• How to shift from surface traits to values that support personal Growth

Dating doesn’t have to feel like a loop of disappointment. If you’re ready to show up differently—and choose differently—this episode offers insight, tools, and hope for what’s ahead.

Cheers to finding love,

Laurie

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Thank you in advance. 

Click here to learn about my NEW “Nervous System Regulation Starter Kit” 

Free Resources

Click here to schedule a FREE inquiry call with me.

Click here for my FREE “Beginner’s Guide to Somatic Healing”

Click here for my FREE Core Values Exercise

Click here to purchase my book: Sandwiched: A Memoir of Holding On and Letting Go

Website

Connect with Bernardo Mendez: 

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DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND Entertainment PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL, MEDICAL OR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT A LICENSED THERAPIST IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING SUICIDAL THOUGHTS. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN LEGAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT A LICENSED MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL WITH RESPECT TO ANY MEDICAL ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

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Laurie James Laurie James, Author, Podcaster, and Somatic Relationship Coach

Hi, I'm Laurie James...a mother, divorcée, recovering caregiver turned author, somatic relationship coach, and podcaster. My podcast, Confessions of a Freebird, was inspired by my youngest of four children leaving the nest and is the sequel to my book, Sandwiched: A Memoir of Holding On and Letting Go.

My memoir is about my journey from loneliness to finding belonging during a time when I was raising four teenage daughters, my mother had a heart attack and needed care, all while my marriage began to crumble underneath me.

Now I love helping people divorce, heal, and date differently in midlife. I love blending my somatic training and coaching to help clients develop a better relationship with their bodies and nervous system. Doing so allows them to find the inner freedom to experience more happiness, joy and create the life they desire through nervous system regulation.

When I'm not coaching clients or podcasting, I can be found nurturing my free spirit by walking my adopted husky Lu, skiing, sailing, hiking, spending time with my four adult daughters, close friends or planning my next adventure.