About 20 years ago I remember reading about the Stockdale Paradox in the book Good To Great.

Based around the mantra; “This too shall pass” and the ability to confront brutal facts, it was highlighted as a great technique for dealing with uncertainty and challenging times.

Initially I thought this was a great technique but it felt a bit too passive and melancholy relying on great stoicism.

I’ve always been a proponent of another technique that I unashamedly developed 10 years before reading that book.

It came from watching the hit Disney film Aladdin and it served me incredibly well in the past week when I was suffering terribly with pain from illness.

Aladdin and its impact on me

In the film/story, the protagonist finds a lamp that has a genie who bestows upon him 3 wishes in exchange for freeing him.

Like many a kid, I always wondered what three things I would wish for.

Once I had narrowed that down, I then quizzed myself:

“What if you only got one wish, what would you choose then?”

With this limitation, I found it incredibly hard to pick anything because the teenage-me was driven by FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) in as much what if I made the wrong choice.

It would really have to be the biggest thing I really wanted; as such, I wouldn’t waste it needlessly.

As the years rolled by, I kept revisiting this question and by the time I got to university, I was a little obsessed with it.

The Genie Technique was born by accident

In my 3rd year at university, I had a terrible experience that at the time I believed was the worst thing ever, something that I would never get over.

In my despair, the idea of having my own genie to get me out of the situation popped into my head and I found myself asking myself:

“Is this the thing you would want to use your one wish on? Bearing in mind you are only 20 years old and if you use it now, you’ll never get it back. Are you telling yourself that this is the worst thing that has ever happened or is ever going to happen to you?”

That led me to really reflect and that deliberation ultimately walked me back from my despair and helped me calm down.

By accident I had found my Genie Technique 🙌

How have I used it since?

Over the years since then, any time I’m confronted with a challenging time, I simply ask myself:

“Is this the thing we use the genie on?”

Up to now the answer has always been no; I’m not wasting my one wish.

Don’t get me wrong there have been times when I have been awfully close but ultimately it’s such a great technique that really gets you to focus, reflect and make an active choice around your anguish/despair/sorrow/etc.

For me it’s up there with failure anniversaries as a tool [I’ll explain those in a future blog] to help you build resilience.

If you’ve never tried it, give it a go and let me know how you get on 🙂

Faris

Faris is the CEO and Founder of Shiageto Consulting, an innovative consultancy that helps firms and individuals sharpen their effectiveness. Connect with him here

Success = IQ x EQ x FQ

Want to assess your levels of IQ, EQ and FQ? click here

Originally Published on https://farisaranki.medium.com/

Faris Aranki Strategy & Emotional Intelligence

Having spent over 20 years delivering strategic change for the corporate and non-corporate worlds, Faris has experienced first-hand the fine differences between strategic success and failure.
His work has spanned numerous companies (from global behemoths to small start-ups), in numerous countries, across a range of sectors, supporting them all to unlock strategic success.

He came to realize that often what hinders institutions from achieving their goals goes beyond the quality of their strategy; it is their ability to engage effectively with others at all levels and remove barriers in their way. This has led to his passion for improving strategic effectiveness within all businesses and individuals and the foundation of Shiageto Consulting.

Over time, Faris has worked to distill his knowledge of how to solve complex problems in a structured manner combined with his skill on engaging effectively with others and his ability to quickly determine the barriers to a strategy's success. This knowledge has formed the foundation of Shiageto’s workshops, courses and methodologies. Faris believes that any firm or team can adopt these improvements; all it requires is a little of the right support -something Shiageto provides!

On top of leading our business, Faris is now an accomplished speaker and contributor for a variety of outlets.