Dear Barbara, My mom is 83 and has moderate Alzheimer’s . Since May, I have noticed a big change in her behavior. She has really slowed down with everything. She sleeps a lot. I know she is depressed and she is on medications, but I hate to see her sleeping like this. She is still […]
Dear Barbara, My mother was transferred to an inpatient hospice. She was alert and talking to us when she arrived. Upon admission, the RN brought up the topic of medications to help her relax. I told her my mom had been relaxed without any problems. The RN insisted she seemed uncomfortable and pushed for morphine. […]
A life review helps us as our life is ending. It can put all the happenings of our life in perspective. How about an end of the year review? Let’s take some time to remember and think through our struggles, our misadventures, and assess our strengths. From the knowledge and perspective found in our review […]
For those of us who are grieving, the holidays can be challenging. Yearning memories, I-wish-I-had’s, and loneliness can all be more strongly felt. Other people seem cheerful, happily planning holiday delights, and we, the grievers or caregivers, are reminded of what we don’t have, of what we’ve lost or are losing. What to do? Write […]
Recently I have been hearing discussion of why families and significant others do not want hospice or EOL Doulas with them during the final moments of life. Families often do not want anyone with them as their special person is actively dying. That is alone, private time. Anyone else present is an intrusion, an invasion […]
Barbara, Can you write about “miracles” and how the hope/prayer for a miracle can make people miss what is in front of them? An internet search defines a miracle as: “a surprising and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is therefore considered to be the work of a divine agency.” […]
We go through labor to enter this world AND we go through labor to leave it. Most of us don’t know this. When we see our special person struggling, we, the watchers, think something pathological is happening or we think the professionals are not doing enough to provide proper care. In reality, nothing bad is […]
Those of you who know and follow me have heard or seen me use the phrase, “People don’t die like they do in the movies.” I think one of the biggest fears we bring to the bedside of someone who is in the dying process is expecting our special person to say something profound or […]
Thanksgiving! A day of gratitude for a year of blessings. For many it is a challenge to find blessings in this chaotic world. For those living with a life-threatening illness, caring for someone faced with end of life issues, or experiencing their first year or even years of grief, it can be hard to find […]
When I first became aware of the hospice concept it was the 1970’s. It was an abstract idea that most people couldn’t pronounce, let alone did they know what it wanted to accomplish. Dr. Elizabeth Kuebler Ross and Dame Cicely Saunders both began saying the “D word” and ever so slowly, minds began to awaken […]
