Is your leadership style costing you a fortune? In this high-energy episode from the archive, Andy Lopata revisits a global conversation with employee engagement specialists Scott Friedman and Paul ter Wal. They challenge the outdated “command and control” hierarchy, replacing it with a radical yet profitable philosophy: Happiness makes money.

Engagement isn’t just a corporate program or a ping-pong table in the breakroom—it is a two-way street built on a foundation of absolute trust. You’ll hear Scott share a powerful technique for setting the intention from day one by asking new hires to agree that this will be the “best job they’ve ever had.” Meanwhile, Paul breaks down why leaders should stop standing on top of their teams and start standing behind them.

From the “I Test” of inclusive language, to the scientific reason you should never lead more than 20 people if you actually want to listen, this episode is a masterclass in modern leadership. Discover how to turn “quiet quitting” into high-performance engagement by shifting your mindset from controlling behavior to facilitating success.

What You Will Learn in this episode:

1. The “Best Job Ever” Contract: What is the specific agreement you should make with every new hire before they even start?

2. The 20-Person Rule: Why does science say a leader’s effectiveness drops off a cliff when managing a team larger than 20?

3. Hiring for Purpose: Why is the new generation of talent running away from high salaries and toward this one specific cultural trait?

4. The “I Test” Reveal: How can a simple word count of your latest speech or email prove your leadership style is alienating your team?

5. Leading from Behind: What is the one question a leader should ask every day to guarantee the best results from their professionals?

   Actionable Insights:

1. Shift from Controller to Facilitator: Stop telling your team how to behave and start asking, “What do you need from me to be the best?” This simple shift in perspective moves the leader from a “checker of boxes” to a supporter of professionals.

2. Define Your “Non-Negotiables”: Don’t let your core values be “lip service” buried on a website. Identify 5–10 written ground rules for behavior and accountability, and model them daily. If the leadership doesn’t model the values, the team will never live them.

3. Schedule “Unagenda’d” Listening: Multitasking is a myth. To build trust, you must sit down, drink a cup of coffee, and listen without an agenda. In a hybrid or remote world, this means creating intentional spaces—like “open cafes”—where people can connect as humans, not just as employees.

SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE

Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube

Connect with Scott Friedman: Website |LinkedIn |

Connect with Paul ter Wal: Website

The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring

Episode 166 Featuring Scott Friedman & Paul Ter Wal

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Andy Lopata Author, Podcast Host and Speaker on Professional Relationships Strategy

Andy Lopata is a specialist speaker on professional relationships, mentoring, networking, and social media strategy. He is a firm believer that professional relationships underpin our success in business, our roles, and our careers. The right relationships with the right people can lead to new business opportunities, investment, collaborative working, innovation, and career progress. We just need to be comfortable approaching those relationships strategically, without making people feel ‘networked’ by us.

Andy has worked in the field of networking and professional relationships for 25 years, working with global giants such as Paypal, GSK, AstraZeneca, Wella, HSBC, Wembley Stadium, the BBC, and the Prime Minister’s Office of the UAE, among many others during that time. He has also worked with leading universities including NYU, Duke University, and Oxford University’s Said Business School.

A regular blogger for Psychology Today, Andy has been quoted in The Sunday Times, The Financial Times, and The Guardian, as well as many other national and regional newspapers and magazines worldwide. He has written or co-authored six books on networking and professional relationships, with his sixth book, "The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring," being published in Spring 2024. He is also the host of The Connected Leadership Podcast and has interviewed globally recognized names in business, academia, sports, and entertainment for the show.

Andy has been inducted into the PSAE Hall of Fame – the Professional Speaking Association Award of Excellence, which was held by only 21 other speakers at the time it was presented. He is a Fellow and a former President of the Fellows’ Community of the Professional Speaking Association (PSA), a Fellow of the Learning and Performance Institute (LPI), and a Member of the Association of Business Mentors and the Meetings Industry Association.