Connecting With Authenticity With Roxanne Derhodge

We hear the word “authenticity” constantly in leadership circles, but what does it actually mean beyond just “removing the mask”? In this thought-provoking episode from the archive, Andy Lopata explores a radically different definition of authenticity with psychotherapist and author Roxanne Derhodge.

Roxanne reveals that true authenticity doesn’t start with how you interact with others; it starts with how well you know yourself when no one else is looking. She argues that the ability to handle conflict, disagree agreeably, and navigate “hot button” topics without losing your cool is actually the highest form of authentic leadership.

Discover why being authentic isn’t an excuse for oversharing, how to strike the crucial balance between professional decorum and human connection and why the most powerful leadership test is how you treat people when nobody is watching.

What You Will Learn From This Episode 

1. The Pillow Test: The ultimate test of authenticity isn’t how you behave on a stage, but whether you are “good on the inside” when you lay your head on the pillow at night.

2. The Hidden Source of Conflict: Why your visceral reaction to a difficult colleague often has more to do with your own unresolved internal triggers than with their actual behavior.

3. The “Verbal Diarrhea” Trap: Why bringing your “whole self” to work does not mean oversharing, and how to maintain the vital filter of professional appropriateness.

4. The Consistency Check: How to spot an inauthentic leader by watching for a disparity between their “networking persona” and their true social behavior.

5. The Power of Small Disclosures: How sharing small, tactical “bits and bytes” of your personal life can destratify a team and make you a more approachable leader during times of crisis.

    Actionable Insights

1. Audit Your Inner Triggers: Before you can authentically connect with someone who holds an opposing view, you must understand your own reactions. The next time a conversation triggers a fight-or-flight response, calm yourself so you can listen to understand, not just to respond.

2. Share the “Micro-Personal”: You don’t have to share every failure or crisis to be vulnerable. By sharing small, appropriate glimpses of your life outside of work—a story about a hobby or a weekend challenge with a child, reminds your team that you are human, making you more approachable when real business problems arise.

3. The “Off-Record” Balance: To be an authentic leader, you must balance holding your team accountable with being a safe harbor. Ensure you hold their feet to the fire for performance metrics, but intentionally create a separate, off-the-record space where they can connect with you as a person when they need support.

SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE

Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube

Connect with Roxanne Derhodge : Website |LinkedIn |

The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring

Episode 170 Featuring Roxanne Derhodge

Most Recent Episodes

June 21, 2026

The Mentor, The Coach, and The Sponsor with Vanessa Vallely OBE & Kerrie Dorman

Are you trying to advance your career, but unsure who to ask for help? Have you ever wondered if you need a mentor, a coach, or a sponsor—and what the difference actually is? In this episode from...

Listen · 23:48

June 14, 2026

A Hand Up, Not a Hand Out with Nigel Kershaw OBE

When The Big Issue launched in 1991, it didn't just introduce a new publication; it fundamentally changed the face of homelessness. By offering a "hand up, not a hand out," it turned vulnerable...

Listen · 21:37

June 7, 2026

How to Lead When the Rules Keep Changing with Nikki Bush

When the pandemic hit, the instruction was simple: "Go home." But returning to a hybrid model? That's a complex, messy experiment full of grey areas. In this episode from the archive, Andy Lopata...

Listen · 20:49

Load More Episodes

Andy Lopata Author, Podcast Host and Speaker on Professional Relationships Strategy

Andy Lopata is a specialist speaker on professional relationships, mentoring, networking, and social media strategy. He is a firm believer that professional relationships underpin our success in business, our roles, and our careers. The right relationships with the right people can lead to new business opportunities, investment, collaborative working, innovation, and career progress. We just need to be comfortable approaching those relationships strategically, without making people feel ‘networked’ by us.

Andy has worked in the field of networking and professional relationships for 25 years, working with global giants such as Paypal, GSK, AstraZeneca, Wella, HSBC, Wembley Stadium, the BBC, and the Prime Minister’s Office of the UAE, among many others during that time. He has also worked with leading universities including NYU, Duke University, and Oxford University’s Said Business School.

A regular blogger for Psychology Today, Andy has been quoted in The Sunday Times, The Financial Times, and The Guardian, as well as many other national and regional newspapers and magazines worldwide. He has written or co-authored six books on networking and professional relationships, with his sixth book, "The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring," being published in Spring 2024. He is also the host of The Connected Leadership Podcast and has interviewed globally recognized names in business, academia, sports, and entertainment for the show.

Andy has been inducted into the PSAE Hall of Fame – the Professional Speaking Association Award of Excellence, which was held by only 21 other speakers at the time it was presented. He is a Fellow and a former President of the Fellows’ Community of the Professional Speaking Association (PSA), a Fellow of the Learning and Performance Institute (LPI), and a Member of the Association of Business Mentors and the Meetings Industry Association.