In this deeply personal and informative episode 210, Dr. Gillian Lockitch is joined by Jennifer Kaufman, a seasoned educator and school principal with over two decades of experience in autism Education—who also happens to be the grandmother of a child on the autism spectrum. Jennifer offers a rare dual perspective: professional insights shaped by years at the helm of a specialized autism school, and heartfelt Wisdom drawn from her own Family’s journey. Together, they explore the evolving role of grandparents in today’s families, particularly when a child is diagnosed with autism. Jennifer shares how her expectations as a grandparent shifted, the emotional complexities that followed, and how her professional training helped—but didn’t fully prepare her—for the personal impact of the diagnosis. Drawing from her book, Grandparenting on the Spectrum: A Journey from Both Sides of the Desk, she provides gentle, practical guidance for navigating these often unspoken challenges. Listeners will learn how to offer support without overwhelming their adult children, create routines that help neurodiverse grandchildren feel safe and connected, and build Relationships based on Love, patience, and flexibility. This episode is an essential listen not just for grandparents, but for anyone touched by autism, looking to better understand the balance between knowledge and compassion, action and acceptance.
Episode Timeline:
00:00 – Introduction to the Podcast and Guest Dr. Lockitch introduces the episode theme and guest, highlighting the growing relevance of autism in multigenerational families.
05:46 – Becoming a Grandparent Changed Everything Jennifer reflects on how grandparenting a child with autism reshaped her perspective as an educator and as a family member.
08:33 – Universal Lessons from the Spectrum While autism is the focus, Jennifer discusses how her insights apply to many families raising neurodiverse or medically complex children.
10:19 – Giving Help When It’s Wanted, Not When It’s Not Jennifer shares respectful ways to support your adult children without overstepping.
14:12 – From Principal to Grandma: Why She Wrote the Book Learn how Jennifer’s professional lens and personal heart came together to create a guide for others.
19:29 – Moving from Fear to Connection Advice for grandparents feeling overwhelmed after a diagnosis, and how to build bonds through curiosity, not control.
25:03 – Adapting to Each Child’s Unique Needs Tips for creating supportive environments and routines that help grandchildren thrive during visits.
31:18 – Long-Term Thinking: Promoting Independence Early Jennifer explains how encouraging autonomy in small ways today supports a child’s future well-being.
36:38 – When Parents Are in Denial: Proceed with Care What to do if you suspect autism but the parents haven’t accepted it yet—without causing conflict.
39:03 – How Autism is Changing Society’s View of Caregiving The impact of greater awareness and the shift from autism “awareness” to “acceptance.”
41:26 – Final Words of Wisdom Jennifer’s takeaway for all grandparents: follow your child and grandchild’s lead, and bring calm to the family dynamic.
About Jennifer Kaufman and the book: Grandparenting on the Spectrum: A Journey from Both Sides of the Desk.
http://www.grandparentingonthespectrum.com
Connect with Dr. Gillian Lockitch
Download my EBook: Guide to Mind and Memory Boosting Strategies
website: https://www.askdrgill.com
Email: [email protected]
