LOVE
When my fiance proposed it was very romantic. He turned off the TV. Well, he muted it. During the commercial. Wendy Liebman
The quickest way to a man’s heart is through his chest. Rossanne Barr
Love is like measles – all the worse when it comes late in life. Douglas William Jerrold
Before we got engaged he never farted. Now it’s a second language. Caroline Rhea
Before I met my husband I’d never fallen in love, though I stepped in it a few times. Rita Rudner
A lot of people wonder how you know if you’re really in love. Just ask yourself this one question. “Would I mind being financially destroyed by this person?” Ronnie Shakes
Love is an illusion. It’s a dream you wake up from with an enormous hangover and net credit debt. I’d rather have cash. Janet Fitch
I urge you all to love yourself without reservation and to love each other without restraints. Unless you’re into leather. Then, by all means, use restraints. Margret Cho
What is love? An extension of like. What is lust? An extension. Rodney Dangerfield
My mother always said that the rose is the perfect symbol of romance. It dies after a few days, its pretty petals fall off, and all you are left with in the end is the ugly prickly thing. Maureen Murphy
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love. Charlie Brown
I fall in love really quickly, and this scares guys away. I’m like, “I’m in love with you. I want to marry you. I want to move in with you.” And they’re like, ” Ma’am, would you give me the ten bucks for the pizza, and I’m outta here.” Penny Wiggins
Source: Funny Times
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