![How Do You Deal With Something That Gnaws Away At You? [Aka The Story Behind Shiageto…] &Raquo; 1U0Cjbgk3Jvoehil3Js73La](https://babyboomer.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/1U0cjbgK3jVoEHil3Js73LA-360x450.webp "How Do You Deal With Something That Gnaws Away At You? [Aka The Story Behind Shiageto…] 3")
I need to tell you something that still stings to admit.
A couple of years ago, I lost a client. Not because the work wasn’t good. Not because we couldn’t deliver. But because I took my eye off the ball.
I was chasing two shiny new projects — exciting prospects with compelling challenges — and in doing so, I let the attention and care slip on the client I already had. The one paying our bills. The one who trusted us.
The project was abruptly curtailed. It was the first time Shiageto Consulting had lost work that way, and it hit hard. Not just financially, but because of what it revealed when I finally sat down and reflected honestly on what happened.
The problem wasn’t the market, the Economy, or even the client.
The problem was me.
More specifically, it was a weakness in my personality that I’d been dancing around for years: my chronic lack of focus. My inability to say no to the new and shiny. My tendency to scatter my energy across too many things rather than doubling down on what mattered most.
And that’s when I realised something that fundamentally changed how I think about achievement:
You will only grow as much as you address the boundaries of your own personality. Until you confront those limitations, you’ll always hit the same ceiling — whether you’re running a business, leading a team, or pursuing any meaningful goal.
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: we all have personality weaknesses that act as a ceiling on what we can achieve.
And this doesn’t just apply to running a business. It applies to any goal or project you’re trying to achieve.
Leading a team inside a corporation? Your conflict-aversion means tough conversations won’t happen and problems will fester.
Training for a marathon? Your inconsistency will show up in your training schedule.
Writing a book? Your perfectionism will keep you endlessly revising Chapter One.
Whether you’re running your own business, climbing the corporate ladder, or pursuing a personal goal — the principle is the same: your personality boundaries will become your project’s boundaries.
Think about the traditional “seven deadly sins” for a moment. Pride. Greed. Envy. Sloth. Wrath. Gluttony. Lust.
Now translate this into negative business behaviours:
Which one resonates with you? Be honest.
For me, it’s been a combination of gluttony and lust working together: the inability to say no to new projects (gluttony) combined with the addiction to whatever’s shiny and novel (lust). Taking on too much would be manageable if I could at least focus on the right things. But when you combine volume with fickleness? That’s when existing clients get neglected and focus becomes impossible.
The irony isn’t lost on me.
I’ve literally trademarked Focus Quotient (FQ). I teach leadership teams about prioritisation. I’ve written extensively about how focus is a super skill that compounds everything else you do.
And yet, for years, I struggled with it myself.
I would say yes to too many things. I’d start new initiatives before finishing existing ones. I’d get excited about potential clients while neglecting current ones. I’d dabble in new service offerings rather than perfecting our core work.
It felt productive — always moving, always doing, always “putting myself out there.”
But productive motion isn’t the same as strategic progress.
And when that client project ended abruptly, I couldn’t hide from the truth anymore: my lack of focus wasn’t just my Achilles heel. It was Shiageto’s Achilles heel.
The business could only grow to the extent that I could grow. And until I addressed this fundamental weakness in myself, we would keep hitting the same ceiling.
Here’s what I’ve learned over six and a half years of running Shiageto Consulting:
Insight without action is just Entertainment.
Recognising your personality boundaries is crucial — but it’s only Step One. Most people stop there. They know they’re disorganised or conflict-averse or unable to delegate, and they accept it as “just who they are.”
But if you’re serious about growing — your business, your career, your impact — you can’t stop at recognition.
Here’s what actually works:
Stop keeping your weaknesses private.
I’ve made my focus struggles public — written about them, talked about them with my team, acknowledged them with clients when relevant.
Why? Because naming something out loud removes its power to quietly sabotage you. It creates accountability. It invites others to help you spot patterns you might miss.
You don’t have to broadcast your weaknesses on LinkedIn (though I do). But you do need to tell someone — a coach, a mentor, a trusted colleague, a friend who’ll call you out.
Silence protects the problem.
Get specific about how your personality weakness manifests in your work.
For me, that meant tracking:
I didn’t need fancy tools. I just needed honesty.
What would your audit reveal? Where is your personality weakness showing up in your numbers, your calendar, your relationships, your results?
Look for the pattern. It’s there.
You’re not going to transform your personality overnight. That’s not the goal.
The goal is to create small, sustainable changes that gradually shift your operating system.
For me, that’s looked like:
Notice these aren’t dramatic. They’re practical, repeatable, trackable.
Sustainable change comes from consistency, not intensity.
Here’s a solution many people jump to: “Just hire someone who’s good at what you’re bad at.”
It’s not wrong. In fact, it’s essential. Big corporates do this brilliantly. A visionary CEO pairs with an execution-focused COO. A creative founder hires a detail-oriented project manager.
But here’s the trap when you’re running a small business:
You can’t fully outsource your weaknesses when you’re the founder.
You still set the tone. You still make the final calls. You can still veto decisions, override processes, or pull the team in a different direction because something “feels right” or looks interesting.
In a 50,000-person company, organisational systems and culture can counterbalance a leader’s weaknesses. In a seven-person consultancy? Your personality is the operating system.
I’ve hired brilliant people. I’ve worked with project managers who are far more organised than me. But when I got distracted by new projects, their systems couldn’t stop me from taking my eye off existing clients. They could mitigate the damage, but they couldn’t prevent the root cause.
So yes, build compensating strengths around you. But don’t use that as an excuse to avoid the deeper work.
Because until you address the boundaries within yourself, you’ll always be working around them rather than through them. And in a small business, that’s an expensive compromise.
This is the hardest part — and the most important.
At some level, you have to believe that your personality weakness isn’t fixed. That you can evolve. That who you are today doesn’t have to define who you become.
For years, I told myself “I’m just someone who likes variety” or “I work better when I have multiple things going.”
Those beliefs were convenient. They let me off the hook. But they were also excuses disguised as self-awareness.
Real change required rewriting those beliefs:
Belief systems drive behaviour. And until you genuinely believe change is possible, you won’t put in the work to make it happen.
For some people, that shift comes from Therapy. For others, it’s Coaching, reading, journaling, or deep conversations with people who’ve made similar changes.
The method matters less than the outcome: you must genuinely believe you can evolve beyond your current boundaries.
Here’s what I wish someone had told me earlier: this isn’t a problem you solve once and move on.
Your personality boundaries will keep showing up. The difference is whether you recognise them quickly and course-correct, or let them quietly undermine your progress for months (or years) before you notice.
I still struggle with focus. I still get tempted by shiny new projects. The difference now is I catch it faster, and I have systems in place to pull me back.
That’s why 2026 is my year of better focus — not because I’ve mastered it, but because I’m committed to raising my FQ deliberately, systematically, and publicly.
And already, I’m seeing the results: deeper relationships with existing clients, more strategic use of time, better decision-making, less cognitive noise, faster progress on what actually matters.
If you’ve read this far and recognised yourself in any of these patterns, here’s the uncomfortable truth:
Nothing will change unless you decide to change it.
Not next quarter. Not when things calm down. Not when you have more time or Clarity or resources.
Now.
So before you close this tab and move on to the next distraction, do three things:
1. Name your biggest personality boundary.
The weakness that keeps showing up. The pattern you’ve been avoiding. Write it down. Say it out loud to someone you trust.
2. Audit where it’s actually costing you.
Look at your calendar, your numbers, your relationships, your energy. Where is this weakness showing up in real terms? Get specific.
3. Commit to one micro-step this week.
Not a grand transformation. Just one small, concrete action that moves you one degree closer to addressing the boundary. Then do it.
This isn’t complicated.
But it is uncomfortable.
And that’s exactly why most people won’t do it.
The truth is simple: your business, your career, your team, your projects, your goals — they’re all constrained by the boundaries of your personality.
You can build better systems, hire smarter people, chase new markets, pivot your strategy. But until you address what’s happening inside you, you’ll keep hitting the same ceiling.
I know because I lived it.
And I’m still living it — just on the other side now, doing the work rather than avoiding it.
The question is: are you ready to do the same?
Faris
Faris is the CEO and Founder of Shiageto Consulting, an innovative consultancy that helps firms and individuals sharpen their effectiveness. Connect with him here
Success = IQ x EQ x FQ
Want to assess your levels of IQ, EQ and FQ? click here
Originally Published on https://farisaranki.medium.com/
