A cheat sheet to build stronger relationships in all aspects of your life

How much time do you spend with friends? How much of that time is in person and how much is virtual?

Hopefully the numbers are high but undoubtedly the older you get, the less time you spend in person with genuine friends.

The compounding of career pressures, Family pressures, people moving away, people passing away, friendships coming undone and more all lead to less and less time with one’s friends — that’s not to say just because you are young that you won’t feel lonely.

Throw in the fact that as humans embrace more Technology, more urbanisation, greater global mobility and other factors, each passing generation spends less physical time with their friends than previous generations.

This is terrible as virtual is sub-optimal, among other things in-person conversations help develop EQ skills much quicker.

This erosion of friendships and the greater use of technology leads to lots of people feeling quite lonely.

What’s more this isn’t just happening in our personal lives, it’s also happening in our professional lives

But all is not lost; a nice simple solution is to develop new friendships wherever you end up.

Let’s be clear though, it’s not necessary easy to do this — it can be scary but it is entirely worth it and I’m going to show you how.

Building Community is personal for me

I’m willing to admit that I suffer from loneliness at times — I live alone, don’t have a Friday night group of pals and see my team in person only sporadically. As things stand it’s well over 3 months since I last saw my best friend and a couple of years since I last was in a romantic relationship.

I long ago came to realise that I could feel sorry for myself or, as the strategist that I am, I could do something about it; so finding new communities became paramount.

It’s something I’ve very much embraced as part of moving into a new apartment, and is why I Love the run clubs that I have joined (speaking of running), stay connected to old acquaintances, meet new people constantly and have dived into networking events.

It’s not just personally that this has hit home; since I started my own business, and stopped being part of a big corporation, finding a new professional community became a big thing — and that’s where The Solopreneurs Club sprung from.

I do believe that my passion around community is undoubtedly my Palestinian heritage; community and inclusion became vital when you come from a region marred by conflict and hardship.

Fortunately an integral part of the work that I do through my business Shiageto Consulting, where we unlock business success through removing the hidden people barriers to strategy, is about increasing teamwork so I’ve successfully applied many of those techniques we use with clients to building my own new communities.

To share the love, I want to share my top 10 tips that work.

Community Building Tips

1. You bring the energy ⚡ — in the early days of any community someone needs to be the force that makes it happen and then you will have to keep the momentum going even when you don’t necessarily want to
2. Capture people’s attention and imagination 📢 — don’t expect people to be aware so be creative in how you reach out to them; in this case I used a lift and I find them to be a wonderful place in general for community. Whatever you do, do it in your own unique style
3. Welcome everyone in 🤗 — be curious and open minded, don’t be afraid of random, that way you will have a more varied group and will grow quicker
4. Let people go with as much grace as you let them in 👋 — people will self-select out pretty quickly if it’s not for them and that’s ok, even if it hurts when it doesn’t work out
5. Find connections amongst the group in a fun way 🤝 — turn it into a game and always see how people are feeling
6. Create shared experiences and accelerate forming 🫂 — lightning rods and speedbumps are great for this, as is taking on a Benevolent Dictator role
7. Where you lead, others will follow 👉— try to be as open as possible and don’t be afraid to be more vulnerable
8. Spread as much joy and knowledge as possible 🗣️— it’s amazing how contagious this is; it can be in the most random ways but people really do appreciate it
9. Keep reaching back out 🫱— do not underestimate the power of a reconnect because every relationship can be resurrected; former acquaintances are particularly fantastic for this
10. Be in charge of your own destiny 💪— more things happen if you increase your surface area for luck

Is this a fool proof way to community?

Well, I can’t guarantee success.

Certainly things don’t always go smoothly in a community (it may even help you get better at having tough conversations) and it will take a lot of effort and a fair bit of time but trust me, it’s worth it 🙌

The joy of having the support, the challenge, the Wisdom and the silliness that a community can bring is priceless so definitely worth it.

Give it a go!

Let me know how you get on and if you need an additional member of your community, give me a shout 😊

Faris

Faris is the CEO and Founder of Shiageto Consulting, an innovative consultancy that helps firms and individuals sharpen their effectiveness. Connect with him here

Success = IQ x EQ x FQ

Want to assess your levels of IQ, EQ and FQ? click here

Originally Published on https://farisaranki.medium.com/

Faris Aranki Strategy & Emotional Intelligence

Having spent over 20 years delivering strategic change for the corporate and non-corporate worlds, Faris has experienced first-hand the fine differences between strategic success and failure.
His work has spanned numerous companies (from global behemoths to small start-ups), in numerous countries, across a range of sectors, supporting them all to unlock strategic success.

He came to realize that often what hinders institutions from achieving their goals goes beyond the quality of their strategy; it is their ability to engage effectively with others at all levels and remove barriers in their way. This has led to his passion for improving strategic effectiveness within all businesses and individuals and the foundation of Shiageto Consulting.

Over time, Faris has worked to distill his knowledge of how to solve complex problems in a structured manner combined with his skill on engaging effectively with others and his ability to quickly determine the barriers to a strategy's success. This knowledge has formed the foundation of Shiageto’s workshops, courses and methodologies. Faris believes that any firm or team can adopt these improvements; all it requires is a little of the right support -something Shiageto provides!

On top of leading our business, Faris is now an accomplished speaker and contributor for a variety of outlets.