I remember my mother sitting in a hospital gown on the end of an examining table, listening to her oncologist explain her lung Cancer. She was smiling and nodding her head as if she understood what he was saying. I was standing off to the side, and I didn’t understand him — and I have a medical background. It wasn’t that I couldn’t hear him. It was as if he were speaking a foreign language—and he was. He was speaking medical language that most non-medical people (and some of us with medical backgrounds) don’t understand or know how to translate into plain words.
I am sorry to say my mother was not the only person who didn’t understand medical language—most of us don’t. So, other than going to medical school, what can we do to better understand what our doctors are telling us?
First: say, “I don’t understand what you are saying.” This physician is telling you how your disease may affect your life and how it could possibly, even probably, end. We deserve—and are entitled—to understand what our future may hold and how it is likely to unfold.
Second: ask questions. Don’t be intimidated by unfamiliar words. No question is wrong, and no question is unimportant. This is your life being discussed. Understanding what is happening is how we maintain some control over our lives. We won’t have that control if we become a deer in the headlights—silent, accepting, and afraid to ask for clarification.
Second: ask questions. Don’t be intimidated by unfamiliar words. No question is wrong, and no question is unimportant. This is your life being discussed. Understanding what is happening is how we maintain some control over our lives. We won’t have that control if we become a deer in the headlights—silent, accepting, and afraid to ask for clarification.
Third: get a second opinion from a physician outside your doctor’s practice. Again, ask questions and explore all options, including treatment and no treatment.
Fourth: do your own research. Get on reliable sources on the internet to learn about the disease, available treatments, and the likelihood those treatments will help.
Fifth: not all treatments will be successful. Ask for percentages and realistic expectations. Is the possibility of extra time worth the side effects and potential loss of quality of life that treatment may come with?
Sixth: no matter what choices you make, be informed and proactive rather than passive in managing the disease. Your life and its quality depends on it.
It is not only about how long we live, but also how we live during that time. It is not always in our best interest to trade meaningful, functioning time for treatments that may be debilitating and may not work as hoped.
Something more…
Want help thinking about what matters most? A Time to Live explores how to live fully, even when time may be limited. This booklet is part of the End of Life Guideline Series.
Originally Published on https://bkbooks.com/blogs/something-to-think-about
