I have said many times, “There are two ways to die — fast or gradual.” Today, I am going to address the control we have over our Dying. Yes, we have limited control over the time that we die. The operative word here is “limited.”
I don’t know as much about fast deaths, alive one minute and dead the next. My experience is with gradual death.
I have been at the bedside so often watching this dynamic unfold that I truly believe we have “limited” control.
We can stay here a bit longer to wait for someone to arrive. We can die when someone has been at the bedside and leaves the room.
We can decide life is not worth living anymore and set in motion or speed up dying. We can stay here a bit longer to wait for someone to arrive and be with us when we take our last breath or we can wait until a person leaves our bedside to let go, which is often a gift of protection.
Because of this limited control I encourage those present to talk to the person in the days to hours before their death and tell them everything that is occurring. They will probably be non-responsive, but who is to say they cannot hear. Opportunities are lost if they can hear us and we stay silent.
If you are with someone when they die you are with them because they want you there. If you are not with someone when they die, even though you wanted and tried to be, that was their gift of protection to you.
Yes, we have that much control.
Something more…
When someone you Love is dying, questions come quickly. Here is what you need- Gone From My Sight helps you recognize the signs of approaching death, The Eleventh Hour offers calm guidance for the final hours to minutes and after the death. Both are in the End of Life Guideline Series. These booklets were created to gently guide you through the physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of the final days and hours of life.
Originally Published on https://bkbooks.com/blogs/something-to-think-about
