I’ve been thinking about Shakespeare’s play Hamlet recently. Though I trained as an actor, I never played Hamlet. Hamlet is a young prince of Denmark, grieving the loss of his father, and feeling vaguely uneasy about the fact that his mother married his uncle Claudius so soon after his father’s death.

“Thrift, thrift, Horatio. The funeral baked meats did coldly furnish forth the marriage tables” he jokes with his friend.

For those who never read, nor saw Hamlet, let me give a quick synopsis.

Distraught young Ham is told by the ghost of his father, King Hamlet I, that Hamlet’s uncle, Claudius, killed him, “Murder most foul, ” by pouring some poison in his ear. Claudius then married young Hamlet’s mother Gertrude. For the next three hours, like many a young university student, some CEOs and journalists, Hamlet ponders too much of all sides of what is known and unknown, the seen and unforeseen consequences of various strategies. Ham stumbles about the stage stuck in anguished inaction. In the end, Ham and most of his friends and family end up dead, very pricey justice.  At the conclusion, young Norwegian prince Fortinbras, who has the “bias for action” gene that Hamlet lacks, arrives with an Army to avenge the death of his father King Fortinbras I, killed in a duel by Hamlet I. Everyone but friend Horatio is already dead. Sad.

There is quite a lot of other psychodrama in the play, including Ham’s inability to confront either his uncle, nor his mother, his inability to return the love of the Lord Chaberlain Polonius’s daughter, Ophelia, who suicidally drowns in a creek. Ham also sends several innocents, friends Rosencranz and Guildenstern,  and Polonius and son Laertes to perhaps undeserved deaths.

There are several instances where Shakespeare comments on how people shamelessly ingratiate themselves to power. Early in the play Hamlet mocks Polonius.

Hamlet: Do you see yonder cloud that’s almost in shape of a camel?
Polonius: By th’ mass, and ‘tis like a camel indeed.
Hamlet: Methinks it is like a weasel
Polonius: It is backed like a weasel.
Hamlet: Or like a whale?
Polonius: Very like a whale.

Later in the play Hamlet mocks Osric

Osric  I thank your Lordship; it is very hot.
Hamlet  No, believe me, ’tis very cold; the wind is northerly.
Osric  It is indifferent cold, my lord, indeed.
Hamlet  But yet methinks it is very sultry and hot for my complexion.
Osric  Exceedingly, my lord; it is very sultry,

Remembering these scenes, sparked a memory of a new executive’s speech to his team.

“Don’t feel embarrassed if you suck up to me. I like it. If you meet a leader who tells you that he or she doesn’t like to be flattered, RUN AWAY, because they’re lying to you. So suck up. Yeah, suck up as much as you want.

But let me share something I learned at MIT. There is a difference between SUWI and SUWOI.

SUWI is sucking up with integrity. Yeah, you say nice things to me. You tell me you like working with me. You put a little smiley face on bad news,  if you know what you believe and don’t shy from TRUTH.

SUWOI, on the other hand, is sucking up without integrity. You accept and parrot everything I say. You always flatter me. You say things to me and then snigger and bitch in the hallway. You have little or no relationship with the truth and your behavior and your espoused beliefs are so far apart you cease to espouse your beliefs out loud.

Let me be clear, SUWI is not required, but it is OK with me, SUWOI is definitely NOT OK.”

People laughed.. There seemed to be less tension in the room. And SUWI and SUWOI became a little inside joke in the leadership team. People would preface difficult news, “In order to avoid SUWOI, . . .” or “definitely SUWI, I want you to know”. . . when they gave a genuine compliment.

It is hard to speak truth to power. This was one leader’s way to avoid the Polonius and Osric trap of agreeing with the leader even on the most trivial of opinions.

Leaders need truth tellers around them. There are still a few leaders, who don’t want that. There are some leaders who are fine if you give them the truth in private, but dislike open contradiction. These leaders may be in a precarious spot or they may be insecure.

There are some leaders who will punish disagreement, no matter the circumstance or whatever SUWI trappings you hang around it. If you work for one of those leaders, RUN AWAY. They are too absorbed in their own personality to see that you are a person, different from them, with any kind of boundaries.

But for everyone else, suck up with abandon, but suck up with integrity, SUWI rules.