Sdecoret/Depositphotos In her essay collection, Jenn Shapland explores Thin Skin — “To be thin-skinned is to feel keenly, to perceive things that might go unseen, unnoticed, that others might prefer not to notice.” In our desire to feel safe and be seen as competent, we develop thick skin so we don’t feel vulnerable to judgement. The noise in our heads when we worry about what to say, how to say it, and if we crossed the line destroys the open, spontaneous flow of a conversation. A sheath forms to protect us from the pain of judgements and hurtful remarks, but then also blocks us from fully... Continue Reading
Marcia Reynolds
Hope can be a destructive emotion – when should you replace it with something more powerful? Most books on ending toxic relationships or leaving dead-end situations talk about the dark side of hope. Letting go of a dream or desire requires you relinquish hope. When you give up hoping, you can move on. With hope, you might seek and even manufacture evidence that there will be a happy ever after. Hope can blind you to harm and sabotage. I had a friend who lost everything in a divorce because she kept hoping her husband would forgive her and be kind. It didn’t happen. There is also positive power... Continue Reading
Empathy doesn’t mean getting caught up in people’s emotions and dramas. There is a difference between empathy and sympathy. Sympathy is absorbing another’s emotions. When sympathizing, you often try to do or say something to ease both your and their discomfort. With compassionate and courageous empathy, they feel cared for and safe but valued as competent. Empathy is understanding. Merriam-Webster says, “With empathy, you can imagine or understand how someone might feel, without necessarily having those feelings yourself.” You have empathy when you witness what others share without judging... Continue Reading
Sangoiri/Depositphotos Humans are social animals; we long to connect with others which is why the social disconnections during the pandemic negatively affected so many people emotionally and mentally. The irony is that what makes us human tends to keep us apart. By nature, our conversations are filled with misunderstandings, mixed feelings, and unmet expectations. At the core of our disconnection is our illusion that we believe we know what is real. We don’t like it when others challenge what we believe is true. How your brain sabotages your attempts to connect To survive, your brain is constantly... Continue Reading
I recently saw the movie Golda. There was a scene where Israeli Prime Minister Golda Meir was describing her family’s flight from the Ukraine when she was a child. She recalled watching her father boarding up the front door after hearing the Russians were executing Jews in the streets. Golda later noted that this experience, and then political conversations in high school in the US were significant to her enduring identity. She said she integrated these moments “…to the extent that my own future convictions were shaped and given form.” I gasped when she described the fear in her father’s... Continue Reading
Your old patterns may have served you, but now is the time for transformation. These questions will help you shift from WHO YOU ARE TODAY to WHO YOU CAN BECOME. Originally Published on https://covisioning.com/ Continue Reading
These four words will strengthen your relationships and coaching conversations as you explore the meaning and value of what is said together. Originally Published on https://covisioning.com/ Continue Reading
What does it mean to stay steady? Do you have to fulfill every goal you set? This post gives the criteria needed to feel steady even when changes need to be made. Originally Published on https://covisioning.com/ Continue Reading
Telling people what they need to do is a common, annoying habit. This post will help improve your relationships by releasing the judgement that people need your help. Originally Published on https://covisioning.com/ Continue Reading
Social media is full of self-care suggestions. These lists fall short of impacting your whole self. You need 7 types of rest for happiness and success. Originally Published on https://covisioning.com/ Continue Reading