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Not by the Sword

Can an act of kindness heal hatred and turn an enemy into an ally? Rabbi Michael Weisser’s experiences with a hate-filled white supremacist suggest the answer is yes.

In 1991, the Jewish Family of Rabbi Michael Weisser, newly arrived in Lincoln, Nebraska, began to receive unrelenting written death threats, packets of hateful anti semitic literature mailed directly to their house, and then angry phone message death threats, all from the Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan.

Rabbi Weisser’s response? He figured out Larry Trapp, one of the most active haters in the Midwest, was sending the messages. He also learned Larry was very ill and disabled from Diabetes. He made a conscious decision not to contact the police, but instead to come from kindness and try to reach the person behind the hate. Rabbi Weisser starts leaving encouraging messages on Larry’s answering machine. The amazing result was that after a while, Larry Trapp softened his stance, then became a friend, renouncing hate and the KKK and converting to Judaism.

It takes a great deal of courage and determination to answer hatred with kindness. Rabbi Weisser left a message for Larry Trapp every week. The messages are supportive: “Larry, I just wanted you to know that you must be a very unhappy man. There’s a lot of love out there for you if you want it.” Or,  “Larry, why do you have to live this way? It doesn’t have to be like this.”

Eventually, Trapp picks up when Weisser calls, furious. Rabbi Weisser offers him a ride to the doctor. He and his wife bring food to his house and share a meal. By the end of the evening. Mr. Trapp has broken down in tears. He wants out of hate. He wants love and support instead.

I was deeply moved by this story. Reaching out with compassion is always a gamble. You don’t know how someone will respond. And I’m not sure I would have been as open as Rabbi Weisser and his family if I’d received frightening hate messages like that. But the rabbi’s refusal to see the person as the enemy, even if their ideas and actions are hurtful, hateful, and wrong leaves so much more room for transformation, for change, for creating allies. Kindness can be a powerful tool to heal conflict.

Lorraine Segal has helped over 2000 leaders and others in organizations and corporations communicate more clearly, transform conflicts, and let go of resentments. The goal: to create a more harmonious and productive workplace.  Through her business, Conflict Remedy, Lorraine creates customized training and Coaching programs for non-profit organizations, corporations, and government agencies and Sonoma State University. She was recently named one of the top 15 coaches in Santa Rosa by Influence Digest. She is a contributing author to the book, Stand Up, Speak Out Against Workplace Bullying. Her latest project, a memoir called: Angels and Earthworms, an unexpected journey to love, joy, and miracles, is about her transformation from miserable self-doubt to self-acceptance, true love, spiritual awareness, and right livelihood. Find out more about the memoir here. Contact Lorraine through ConflictRemedy to request a free consultation for you and your organization or to sign up for her conflict remedy newsletter and blog.

Related resources and blog articles:

Not By The Sword: How the Love of a Cantor and His Family Transformed a Klansman —Kathryn Watterson

Caroline Christie Metzel’s Facebook Post 

A Listening Heart–Lorraine Segal

The Path of Love in Conflict Management–Lorraine Segal

© Lorraine Segal Conflict Remedy 2026

The post Not by the Sword appeared first on Conflict Remedy.

Lorraine Segal Author, Presenter, Conflict Transformation Expert

After surviving the 50's and 60's, as well as twenty years in toxic academia as a tenured professor, Lorraine Segal was inspired to started her own business, Conflict Remedy (ConflictRemedy.com), happily offering DEIB informed teaching, coaching, blogging and consulting that promote workplace conflict transformation. She has helped over 2000 leaders in non-profits, corporations, and small businesses improve communication, harmony, and productivity at work. She is a contributing author to the anthology Stand Up, Speak Out Against Workplace Bullying.

Her recently published memoir called: Angels and Earthworms, an Unexpected Journey to Love, Joy, and Miracles, is about her own transformation from miserable self-doubt to self-acceptance, true love, spiritual awareness, and right livelihood.