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Content Warning: This episode contains detailed discussions of medical trauma, postpartum hemorrhage, psychiatric hospitalizations, and suicidal ideation. Please protect your Mental Health while listening.
Welcome back to Quiet Confessions, a mini-episode of Quiet Connection where I sit down to chat one-on-one with you about my personal journey.
In honor of Birth Trauma Awareness Week, I'm re-airing a deeply personal episode from season five. Today, we're talking about traumaversaries: the anniversaries of the hardest moments of our lives. For many birthing individuals and parents, these anniversaries are tied to perinatal mental Health disorders (PMHDs) and birth trauma.
I'm sharing my own story, including my scheduled C-section that turned terrifying, a severe postpartum hemorrhage at home, surviving three psychiatric hospitalizations, and later facing a brain hemorrhage from a pituitary tumor. I open up about what it's like to live with PTSD, face flashbacks, and handle the heavy seasons on the calendar.
There is no toxic positivity here. I won't tell you that everything happens for a reason. But I will tell you that you aren't alone, your feelings are entirely valid, and we can survive these hard seasons together.
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Key Takeaways
- What is a Traumaversary: A traumaversary is the anniversary of a traumatic event. For many parents and birthing individuals, these milestones are deeply tied to birth trauma and perinatal mental health challenges.
- Chelsea’s Timeline of Survival: A look at how a scheduled C-section spiraled into a spinal headache, a life-threatening postpartum hemorrhage at home, severe PMHDs, three psychiatric hospitalizations, and eventually, a brain hemorrhage from a pituitary tumor.
- The Reality of PTSD & Flashbacks: Trauma doesn't just disappear. Flashbacks can bring back the sights, smells, and physical sensations of the original trauma, especially when the anniversary season rolls around.
- Saying No to Silver Linings: It's completely okay to hate “silver linings”. You don't have to find a beautiful lesson in the worst things that happened to you. You didn't deserve it, but you can still find gratitude for where you are today without romanticizing the pain.
- Tools for Navigation: Surviving a traumaversary means reminding yourself that you're safe, you aren't in that dark place anymore, and you're surrounded by Love.
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Soundbites
- “A traumaversary is the anniversary of any form of trauma that happened to you… and that anniversary may bring about some big feelings. Or it may not. It's a deeply personal thing.”
- “I say I missed the first six months of my daughter's life due to my perinatal mood and Anxiety disorders and being hospitalized for those several times.”
- “I hate silver linings. I don't like the idea of them. I feel like what I went through was not okay, and I didn't deserve it. You didn't deserve whatever it was that you went through, either.”
- “No, I'm not thankful for what happened to me, but I am grateful for what has come of it.”
- “If you have experienced trauma and you are triggered or much more aware of big feelings around the time of year that these things happened to you, I see you. Your feelings are so valid.”
This episode discusses topics that may be triggering for some individuals. Please check the show notes for more information and be mindful of your own mental health and comfort levels.
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 Special Thanks to Steve Audy for the use of our theme song: Quiet Connection
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Chelsea is a nonbinary, disabled/chronically ill stay-at-home parent. As a passionate advocate for those too often unheard, Chelsea is always eager to dive into honest and open conversations with other moms about the messy, challenging, and unexpected realities of parenthood. Chelsea hosts Quiet Connection: Postpartum Mental Health podcast and is a panel member on the Odd Moms On Call podcast.
Chelsea worked for 10 years in intensive-needs special Education and is still passionate about advocating for neurodiverse families. They also volunteer at a pediatric oncology camp as the planner & facilitator of their quarterly playgroup, serving the families of their youngest campers.
