The hardest part of “helping” a Family after an autism diagnosis can be admitting that your old playbook no longer fits. Jennifer Kaufman knows that tension from both angles: she spent years as a principal at a school for children with autism through age 21, and she’s also the grandmother of an autistic eight-year-old. When her grandson was diagnosed, expertise wasn’t the missing piece. The missing piece was learning how to shift expectations, step back from the expert role, and show up as the kind of support her daughter actually needed.
We dig into what grandparenting on the spectrum looks like in real life: respecting the parent’s lead at IEP meetings, avoiding unsolicited advice, and offering support that’s specific and proactive. Jennifer shares why “let me know if you need anything” often lands as extra work for exhausted parents, and how practical help like childcare, errands, or simply creating space for parents to reconnect can ease caregiver Burnout and strengthen the whole family system. We also talk about vacations, routines, and why the most meaningful moments often happen when you follow the child’s lead instead of forcing a plan.
Communication is a major thread too, including AAC devices, the idea that behavior is communication, and how autonomy grows when a child has reliable ways to say what they want and don’t want. Jennifer closes with a safety message every autism family should hear, especially around water safety and swimming lessons. If you care about autism support, neurodiversity-affirming family Relationships, and practical strategies that actually help, listen now and share this with a grandparent or family member who wants to show up better. Subscribe, leave a review, and tell us: what kind of support has mattered most in your life?
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