“The task for caregivers of a loved one with dementia is strikingly similar to what we do to support children when they’re growing up. But the task and the journey is in reverse — because we are losing cognitive sophistication on the dementia journey. That is very unsettling for caregivers at home when they don’t understand what, when, and why it is happening.”
If someone you Love has been diagnosed with dementia, you were handed a life-changing role with almost no training. The medical system is built around patients who can remember, report, and advocate for themselves — which means dementia, by definition, often slips right through the cracks. And caregivers are left trying to make sense of confusing behavior on their own.
In this episode, Greg talks with Amy Shaw, palliative medicine practitioner and dementia care educator, about what the medical system routinely misses — and what caregivers actually need to know. Amy breaks down why dementia is predictable, not random, and how understanding the brain’s breakdown pattern can replace confusion and resentment with Clarity and compassion.
Amy’s website is betterdementia.com — her course, private Family support, and newsletter are all available there.
About Amy Shaw
Amy Shaw is a palliative medicine practitioner, dementia care educator, and founder of Better Dementia. Her background spans primate cognition, wedding photography, urgent care, and cardiology — a path that gave her a uniquely human lens on one of medicine’s most misunderstood journeys. She works privately with families, trains professional Caregiving organizations, and has built an online course designed specifically for the busy, overwhelmed caregiver. Her book is forthcoming in 2027.
What You’ll Hear in This Episode
- Why the medical system is structurally designed to miss dementia — and why patients often appear fine in a clinical setting
- The “caregiver backpack” — the invisible emotional weight that builds when behavior goes unexplained
- Why dementia follows a predictable pattern, and how Amy’s four-stage framework helps caregivers locate where their loved one actually is
- The “cognitive detective” approach — working backward from behavior to brain to understand what’s really happening
- Dementia as an umbrella term — and why understanding Alzheimer’s disease (60–80% of cases) gives you the framework for understanding dementia overall
- Psychiatric symptoms, medication options, and how to have productive conversations with your medical team
- Navigating care decisions — home care, memory care facilities, Hospice — and how to make them before a crisis forces your hand
- Why 1 in 5 working adults is also caring for someone with dementia — and what that means for organizations
- What self-care actually looks like on the caregiving journey — and why there’s no single right way to do this
Key Takeaways
- Dementia is not random. It follows a pattern. When caregivers understand the stages and what’s breaking in the brain, confusion gives way to clarity.
- Your loved one is not lying. Behaviors that look like manipulation or deception are a reflection of brain failure — not character.
- Dementia may rob skills and abilities, but it will never take away humanity. Caregivers who understand the biology can show up with compassion instead of judgment.
- There is no right way — only the way that’s right for you. What another caregiver chooses is not the standard. Your needs matter too.
- You’re doing a good job. Amy’s message to every caregiver who has never heard those words.
Resources Mentioned
- Amy Shaw’s website and course: betterdementia.com
- Amy’s newsletter — available at betterdementia.com
- Amy’s forthcoming book — expected 2027
Connect with Amy Shaw
- Course: betterdementia.com
- Work with Amy 1 on 1
- Newsletter signup: betterdementia.com
Me? I'm a chill late 60-something, (very late), women's health coach, podcaster, wife, step mother, Gigi to 2 grand baby boys, 3 cats, 2 goats, and many chickens. Former pro chef turned entrepreneur. My current ventures include BeMoreMarketable, copywriting for coaches and Rebellious Wellness Lifestyle, where I host a podcast of the same name and write on healthy aging topics that mainstream media skips. I untangle the confusion around health trends and bust the myths around aging so common today--like "this is what happens at your age." What age is that I want to know!
My side gig is gardener and flower arranger.
