Why Your Cat Sleeps All the Time

By Mark, Cat Behavior Analyst (self-appointed)

Let’s face it: your cat sleeps more than your Uncle Larry after Thanksgiving dinner. But unlike Larry, your cat isn’t just digesting gravy — she’s plotting. That’s right. Beneath those twitching paws and face-covered naps lies a creature operating on a Sleep schedule so intense that it makes college students look productive.

Catnaps vs. Deep Sleep: The Two-Party System of Feline Politics

Cats have two sleep modes:

• Catnap Mode: Eyes half open, ears twitching, ready to bolt at the sound of a cheese wrapper. This is the feline version of “I’m listening” during a Zoom call.
• Deep Sleep Mode: Full REM, tail spasms, and the occasional meow that sounds suspiciously like a tax evasion confession. This is when your cat dreams of chasing mice, ruling kingdoms, and finally catching that red dot.

Why So Much Sleep? Because Cats Are Basically Retired Ninjas

In the wild, cats needed short bursts of energy to catch prey. Now? Their prey is the automatic feeder. But the instinct remains. So they sleep. A lot. Like, “I’ve only been awake for three years of my life” a lot.

High Places, Warm Beds, and Paw-Face Heat Shields

Cats Love sleeping in high places. Not because they’re majestic — because they’re nosy. From the top shelf, they can judge your outfit, your life choices, and whether you’re worthy of their attention.

When it’s cold, they seek sunbeams and your freshly folded laundry. When it’s hot, they find the one shaded spot that also happens to be your laptop keyboard.

Night Owls in Fur Coats

Cats are nocturnal. Which means while you’re trying to sleep, they’re doing parkour off your furniture and hosting underground raves in the hallway. Want to change that? Play with them during the day. Or hire a tiny DJ to keep them occupied.

When to Worry, Besides When They Start Typing

If your cat suddenly sleeps more or less than usual, it might be time for a vet visit. Or they’ve discovered existential dread. Either way, check in with your vet!

“What greater gift than the love of a cat?” — Charles Dickens

“The cat is nature’s masterpiece.” — Leonardo da Vinci

“It is difficult to obtain the friendship of a cat. It is a philosophical animal… one that does not place its affections thoughtlessly.” — Théophile Gautier

CAT HUMOR

Cats don’t have owners — they have staff with emotional attachment issues.

Cats don’t do “obedience.” They do “suggestions they’ll ignore later.”

My cat isn’t spoiled — I’m just well‑trained.

Cats: because every home needs a tiny, judgmental landlord.

I asked my cat for help. He filed a complaint instead.

My cat’s favorite hobby is knocking stuff over to test gravity… again.

Cats don’t sleep 18 hours a day. They plot with their eyes closed.

My cat thinks the vet is a war crime.

If cats could text, they wouldn’t.

My cat’s love language is “sit on whatever you’re using.”

The post Cats! appeared first on The Old and in the Way Podcast.

Mark Lomas Mark

Podcaster, Videographer, Blogger, Comedian, and turning 74 in 2025. Created the Old and in the Way Podcast which is featured on YouTube, Facebook, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Boomheart Radio (and many other podcast platforms via Podbean), and lastly and kinda fun, TikTok.

The podcast has featured musicians (from the Grateful Dead and Foreigner), the Grateful Dead's only authorized historian, Joel Selvin from Rolling Stone magazine, and a music critic for the San Francisco Chronicle), authors, actors, comedians, and filmmakers. Our shows are light-hearted and fun, and sometimes we do comedy sketches.

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