We’re heading into peak “So, what do you do?” and “How are you doing?” season with Family gatherings, holiday parties, end-of-year events, and alumni mixers. Here’s how to handle it with strategy, story, and humor.

1⃣ Lead with Your Story, Not Your Job

Instead of opening with “I’ve been laid off” or your title, share your story. People connect to purpose, not positions. Talk about what lights you up, what you’re working toward, or why you started speaking in the first place. You never know who might think, “They have talent and energy—I may know someone.”

2⃣ Reach Out During the Holidays

Don’t hide! While people are busy, they’re often more generous with time for networking calls or meetings.

3⃣ Give Your Network Something to Do

Help your contacts by sharing useful resources: articles, member group recommendations, information about companies (new or existing), or in-person events.

4⃣ Ask About Trusted Recruiters

Check if they know recruiters who have been valuable resources over the years.

5⃣ Help Them Help You

People have short attention spans. Create a cheat sheet that brings your resume to life:
“I do **W** using my **X, Y, and Z skills**, so clients/staff/internal customers achieve **A, B, and C**.”
Include a title or two that reflects your current focus.

6⃣ Ask for Opinions if You’re Shifting Careers

Flatter people by asking for their advice or Wisdom. Share what you’ve been thinking, connect it to your professional and personal history, and explain why your unique qualities fit the opportunity.

7⃣ Shift the Focus to Others

Ask:
– “What’s keeping you energized?”
– “What’s top of mind?”
– “What should I be listening for on your behalf?”

8⃣ Share Your Wins

Talk about successes and lessons learned along the way. Celebrate progress.

9⃣ Be Prepared for the “Doom and Gloom” Relatives

Assume someone might comment on your challenges. Prepare a few strategies:
– **Pivot like a pro:** I call this the *“Look, a squirrel!”* method —distract with a fun fact, story, or human-interest topic.
– **Thank and defer:** “Thanks! I’ll circle back later.”
– **Group facilitator:** Ask them or others for advice or perspective, taking the focus off yourself.
Tip: Take inspiration from *l’esprit de l’escalier*—the witty comeback you think of too late. Prepare a few early!

*Not bad for someone who used to hide in the auditory part of French class, right?

Use Humor

I call those grilling moments *“the human MRI experience”*. Laugh, have fun, and brainstorm new fields or job titles. Ridiculous ideas often spark clever solutions.

1⃣1⃣ Keep ’Em Moving

Pass food, hand people off, or get distracted in the kitchen washing dishes. Anything that keeps energy flowing works!

1⃣2⃣ Circle Back and Share Wisdom

After events, follow up with lessons learned, insights, and tips.

1⃣3⃣ Baker’s Dozen

As I always say in my writings: everything here is true. Stay safe, well, and re-energize!

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Julienne Ryan Humorist, Speaker, Trainer, Facilitator, Coach

Julienne B. Ryan began her professional career at age five when she did TV commercials and learned important things like “the teamsters always eat first,” her social security number and how to endorse checks for bank deposit.

Ryan studied psychology in college because she wanted to understand humans. She conducted her “field work” in a variety of roles, hearing the phrases “merger synergies, reorganizations, downsizing and rightsizing for change” more times than she cares to mention.

Later she enrolled in an Ivy League graduate school where she paid oodles of money to validate her prior on-the-job learning experiences. However, she did learn to name drop up-to-date theories and trendy psychologists with alarming ease.

Ryan evolved into working in “Talent Management,” a fancy way of saying “try to find people and keep them moderately happy.” With inadequate budgets and staff allocations, she had to find creative ways to encourage her staff to work effectively. These ranged from begging and borrowing resources, improvising childcare, telling stories and even giving snacks as rewards. She tried to convince herself that working a bazillion hours and “multi-tasking” equaled achievement.

Her work took place in cubicles, conference rooms or, with luck, in offices with a door. Occasionally she would make the time to emerge from her allotted real estate to really talk to people. Ryan learned something transformative in the process:

Yes, she was effective. But not because she used fancy theories – or gave great snacks. Ryan’s success, her staff believed, was a result of her uncanny knack for weaving storytelling with humor to motivate and encourage them. Crucially, they encouraged Ryan to de-emphasize “that normal HR stuff” and focus on bringing her unique storytelling skills to a broader stage.

Thanks to them, Ryan continues to collect, connect and tell stories in her work helping people find their “true selves in the world of work.

She is the author of the humorous, all true "The Learned It In Queens Communications Playbook - Winning Against Distraction!".that now includes a workbook and is available at booksellers across the globe..

She is a guest contributor to The Procurement Foundry, LifeBlood, and the global storytelling community.

Certifications include
Accumatch (BI) Behavior Intelligence
Narativ Applied Storytelling Methodologies
Collective Brains – Mentorship Methodologies