Last Monday, April 21st, I turned 61. There, that’s out of the way! Our birthdays do matter, however they may feel, and some just feel weird. Like when my daughter turned 40 – NO you may not be 40 because I’M 40.
Confused about that cake? No, it’s not just wishful thinking.
I’ve shared my birth story and my adoption story previously, but I’m here today to fill in what is an incomplete picture.
I was raised in church, but I didn’t pay much attention and mostly I just memorized stuff. I’d always believed He was real, but He seemed distant and unconcerned about me. If he WAS concerned, it was only to “get me” for doing something bad. So when I left home I wouldn’t say I turned my back on God, I just sort of wandered away.
Until April 21, 2000. My 36th birthday.
A few months before, my brother gave me the first book in a series called Left Behind (Jenkins & LaHaye). It should be noted that my brother does not give me books to read, and I figured I better! So I read the first one.
I remember this so clearly – my husband and I were on a road trip, I was in the front passenger seat reading this book, and suddenly I wondered:
If Jesus comes back today for His people, would I go? Or would I be left behind? The truth was that I didn’t know, and this made me uncomfortable. For a minute.
Then came a series of “coincidences” that are nothing short of miraculous. And I still didn’t get it! I was wowed, to be sure, but it was like I was in awe of the orchestra and totally missed the conductor.
The final piece to the puzzle began to fall into place when I got a mysterious call from the music director at my parents’ church (we certainly didn’t have one). She told me that practices for the Easter Cantata were starting soon … and I’m thinking, so what?
Then she said this: When you signed up you said that you were an alto, is that right?
I definitely did NOT sign up for … whatever this was. After I got over my surprise though I decided that since I loved to sing, I’d go help them out. I had no idea what was coming …
What was this cantata, exactly? It was the story of Jesus, start to finish.
On the Thursday before Easter I was in my bedroom, sitting on the floor in the dark, practicing my part for Sunday. And suddenly it hit me like a ton of bricks:
THIS IS ALL TRUE.
I felt … different somehow. In a REALLY good way! But I also felt so confused – what just happened?? For some reason (ha) we went to the Good Friday service the next night, which was my 36th birthday.
April 21, 2000, became my second birth day. On that day I was born again – adopted again! – into a brand new and ETERNAL life, and I was forever changed. I recognized the horrible extent of my sin, and realized that only Jesus could fix me. That night, through my tears, I freely gave my life to Him and begged Him to “fix “me.
Easter Sunday came and I couldn’t sing a word. My throat was closed tight, tears streamed from my eyes, and all the while my heart was soaring.
But what now? I had no idea. All I knew is that I was suddenly starving for the Bible, and that I was scared to tell my rebellious, pastor’s kid husband what had happened to me. (That’s his story – ask him! He loves tell it!) So I just hid my Bible in my lap and kept quiet until one day everything changed for him too.
We were standing in our driveway while he washed his trailer, and suddenly he turned and said to me, “I feel like I’ve lost my girlfriend ” … and I couldn’t answer him. Because the truth was that he HAD lost me in a way – Jesus was now my first Love. All I could do was stand there and cry, and he will tell you that this was his “moment.”
Basically, 1 Peter 3:1-2 is our story:
“In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives.”
God used the changes HE made in me to draw Greg into relationship with Him.
I can’t take ANY credit because I was 100% clueless about all things “biblical wife.”
Submission? Dirty word. Speaking without words? Please. Me quiet? Never. And oh by the way I’m just as good as you are and maybe better.
Can’t you just feel the tug of war?
But God.
Greg saw a difference in me, and that changed everything.
I was baptized by my father-in-law shortly thereafter, and we’ve never looked back. Yes, of course there have been wounds along the way, but they are human wounds, not God wounds. He is faithful to heal hearts and He has great plans for us, I believe that with all my heart.
We are chosen, both of us, to “proclaim the excellencies of Him who called [us] out of darkness into His marvelous light.” (1 Peter 2:9)
So that’s my story!
Have you had the equivalent of my “this is all true!” moment? Tell me about it, I’d love it know. And if you haven’t, please get in touch – I’d love to chat.
Love,
Angie
The post CHOSEN AGAIN: A STORY OF TWO BIRTHDAYS appeared first on Angie Clayton.
