Posts Tagged With ‘ self-coaching ’

She is everywhere. For most of our years together, we joked about her seeming ability to transcend time and space. All-seeing, all-knowing, ever-present, and always watching…. The laughter did us good and served up some of our most unguarded moments. The laughs did what dogma couldn’t. It brought humanity to the Venn diagrams of our lives. This weekend I remembered some of our laughter, even in her final days, and could not contain the stuff that needed the light of day. Some of my stuff rolled down my cheeks this weekend as the country celebrated Mother’s. I cried. Not just because I miss... Continue Reading

How the Cookie Crumbles and My Upper Limit Late last Friday evening, I stood in my kitchen desperately trying to recall when and how I had consumed an entire plate of homemade chocolate chip cookies. Fragments of the evening were all that was left. Only ghostly recollections remain of snapping up two or three cookies at a time remained. I recall the occasional trip into the kitchen to clean up after dinner, brew some tea, or start the dishwasher, but the rest is a blur.  Deep in the pit of my stomach, I knew I’d been in and out of the kitchen a dozen or more times throughout the evening. You... Continue Reading

Recently I read a statement by a prominent business coach that “coaching saves lives.” Part of my brain said, “yea, we do,” but another part said, “Well, that’s a nice attention-grabbing toss-away line intended to grab attention, clicks, and likes.” He said, “More marriages break up over the lack of money than for lack of love. Business failures lead to personal ruin, destruction, addiction, depression, anxiety, suicides, and, unfortunately, far more. As good business coaches, we save marriages, families, and kids from self-destruction. We save lives!” Sobering observations and... Continue Reading

Just as I was adjusting to losing a job, its income, and benefits (see last week’s email if you missed that bit of excitement), this happened. First, let me be clear; I am fortunate. I’m not out on the streets or sleeping on friends’ sofas (done that before). My gratitude for all I have is sky-high, and in the broadest sense, I know I will survive this challenge. But sitting at my desk, three days post-firing, reviewing and replying to job postings, I was unprepared for this. Here’s some backstory. When Covid lockdowns occurred, many of my friends joked that I no longer needed to come up... Continue Reading

As I work to grow my private coaching practice, my position as a Business Success and Strategy Coach for an international online marketing agency has filled an important role. Steady income, a benefits package, and camaraderie with some brilliant people make this an essential part of my life. Last Wednesday was my monthly one-on-one with my team leader, a guy I greatly admire and have learned a lot from. As the Zoom screen opened, I knew something was up. Joining Dave was Julia, the firm’s COO. It took just a few seconds for Julia’s presence to be explained. “Today would be my last day…”... Continue Reading

What Is It About Giving As my little saga of the burst water pipe dries out, I’m happy to report much less drama. The insurance company has sent an adjuster, my contractor has promised to make time to stop by, and with temperatures in a normal range for February in Maine, all appear manageable. Amid my burst-pipe kerfuffle (I’ve wanted to use that word for months), I have thought over and over again how fortunate I am that this (cue the insurance company, general contractor, tradespeople…etc.) is the extent of drama in my life. Scan the headlines. The world isn’t a pretty sight. Wars, international... Continue Reading

When I left you last week, I was standing in the basement of my 200-year-old house, with water falling through the floorboards after a pipe above my dining room ceiling burst.   Waves of panic, fear, and anxiety rose as rapidly as the water dancing around my ankles. A decision is required, but which path I would choose was anybody’s guess. On the one hand, I could choose the well-trod path of “this shouldn’t be happening to me” or “why do things like this always happen to me.” And after decades of choosing this type of reactionary, poor-pitiful-me response to the shitshow that can... Continue Reading

Earlier this week, temperatures here in Maine dropped into the negatives, with air temps landing around -20 with wind-chill dropping to -30 and beyond. My home is almost 200 years old, and while in remarkable condition, frigid temperatures require specific attention. Books, blogs, and YouTube were each tapped, and as the thermometer dropped, my checklist activated, and every precaution was made to safeguard the house, shed, and barn with their various systems. High on the list was preventing water pipes from freezing, bursting, and causing all manner of problems. Thursday night came and went with... Continue Reading

I have read that the nightmare of standing on a stage, under bright performance lights, as the curtain rises and realizing that you are stark naked is more common than people imagine. Realizing the shared nature of that horrible dream should ease my shame around the stupid mistakes dotting the landscape of my life. But it doesn’t. My knee-jerk reaction when the memories of screwups float to the front of my brain is to dig a hole, crawl inside, and pull the dirt in on top of me. So programmed am I to feel shame about my mistakes that this vision of self-inflicted live burial is my go-to. Did... Continue Reading

Adults, who have returned to their parent’s home for any length of time for any possible reason, may resonate with this little story. On the surface, it’s simple, but the current of its implications runs deep. I was a fat kid. No getting around that. Eating my feelings was my standard approach to life going back as far as I can remember. Eventually, I ballooned to over 250 lbs. In high school, this meant I was the target of endless bullying. Desperation drove me to seek help from our family doctor, and a regime was proposed, which I grasped like a person drowning clings to a life preserver. I... Continue Reading