I told my grandma that spring vegetables keep you young. She started eating carrots daily—now she’s seeing better days! My 80-year-old neighbour planted too many flowers this spring. I guess you could say he’s suffering from perennial overachievement. Why did the senior gardener win the spring planting contest? Because she had years of ex-seed-ingly good […]
Why did the cloud apply for a job? Because it wanted to rain on everyone’s parade… professionally! What do you call a flower that grows after a thunderstorm? *A bloom with a boom! I tried to plant a joke during April showers… But all I got was a puny stem and a lot of […]
The following is from a Facebook post by Laugh Until The Tears Run Down your legs!! I was at the checkout of a local Walmart. The cashier rang up $46.64 charges. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave the money back to her and told her that she had […]
My wife and I were watching TV, and a commercial came on for a wrinkle cream. She said, “Do you think I should try that?” I said, “Why? You’re not the target demographic yet.” And that’s when the fight started. I told my wife, “You still look as beautiful as the day we met.” She […]
My wife asked me to take her to one of those fancy places where they serve small portions of food on big plates. So I took her to a hardware store. And that’s when the fight started. I was in the kitchen when my wife asked, “What’s for dinner?” I replied, “Whatever you’re making smells […]
We are in the middle of the 20s an era that in 1900 was seen in retrospect as the good old days, a time of jazz, flapper dresses, and, for seniors, what could generously be described as a simpler life. But was it really simpler, or just harder with fewer options? My friends and I […]
There are some jokes that play on various grammatical and literary concepts, that have been circulating on social media, here is my take on some more. · An Interjection bursts into a bar, exclaiming, “What a night!” · A Split Infinitive walks into a bar, boldly going where no one has gone before. · A […]
Based on a piece by Dave Barry One of the most overlooked yet fascinating distinctions in the world is the difference between men and women. At first glance, it might seem like we’re quite similar—after all, we share the same basic anatomy. But once you dig a little deeper, you begin to notice that men […]
1. Why don’t scarecrows have brains? They’re full of straw. 2. What do you call a scarecrow who’s really good at his job? A scare-excellent. 3. Why did the pumpkin get a ticket? It was caught jack-o’-lantern-ing. 4. What do you call a pumpkin that’s afraid of heights? A squash-afraid. 5. Why did the leaf […]
