At least my wife appreciates my sense of humour on a good day, here are some Jokes & Puns for August
1. I’m so hot, even my
sweat is sweating. August really brings the heat!
2. I tried to
catch some fog this morning… but I mist.
3. I’m reading
a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down, just like a good
beach read.
4. I’m not
saying it’s hot out, but I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts. 🐿️
5. The beach
called… it wants its sandy puns back.
6. I made a splash
at the pool party… mostly by tripping over the cooler.
7. I burned
1,000 calories today. I left my pizza in the car. 🍕🔥
8. I went
outside and poof, medium rare.
9. August is
when my flip-flops become my sole-mates.
10. Don’t trust
the ocean. It’s always up to something fishy.
11. Why don’t
crabs give to charity? Because they’re a little shellfish.
12. Ice cream
is my summer melt-down prevention strategy.
13. I told my
plants to stay cool… now they’re giving me the cold leaf.
14. My lawn and
I are in a relationship. It’s complicated, especially in August.
15. I’m
currently on a seafood Diet. I see food and I eat it.
16. You know
it’s August when even your shadows are sweating.
17. My August
budget: 10% bills, 90% iced coffee.
18. I wanted to
be a lifeguard… but I couldn’t go with the float.
19. August is
just July with extra attitude.
20. My air
conditioner and I are in a very committed relationship.
21. Why did the
sun go to school? To get a little brighter.
22. This August
heat is a real grill-seeker’s dream.
23. I’m just
trying to stay chill in a season that won’t let me.
24. I don’t
sweat, I sparkle… profusely.
25. Why are
bananas popular in summer? Because they have a-peel.
26. My vacation
plans? Avoid responsibilities and tropic like it’s hot.
27. The only
thing rising faster than the temperature is my electric bill.
28. I tried to
play hide and seek in the heat, but I couldn’t sweat the small stuff.
29. I like big
umbrellas and I cannot lie. ☂️
30. August is
just a reminder that fall is coming… but my AC doesn’t believe it.
31. I’m not
lazy, I’m just energy efficient. Happy end of summer!
Originally Published on https://boomersnotsenior.blogspot.com/
