Bondi: Pinky swear with my fingers crossed.

Rep. Garcia: Madam Attorney General, do you believe you owe any words of comfort to the survivors of Jeffrey Epstein?

Bondi: They’re not the boss of me. Na-na-na-na-na.

Rep. Garcia: What? I’m simply asking—

Bondi: I’m rubber. You’re glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you. (witness takes a loud slurp from her juice box.)

Rep. Raskin: Isn’t it true, General, that you are protecting rich and powerful people and ignoring the plight of abused children?

Bondi: I know you are, but what am I?

Rep. Raskin: Mr. Chairman. That is not responsive to my question. Would you please direct the witness to answer my question?

Bondi: (Covering her ears) Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I can’t HEAR you!

Rep. Jordan: Will the witness please professionally conduct herself?

Bondi: You’re not the boss of me, either. (blows a raspberry at him)

Rep. Raskin: Did you coordinate your responses to avoid addressing the substance of the allegations?

Bondi: Wouldn’t YOU like to know?

Rep. Massie: Madame Attorney General, please stop acting like a child.

Bondi: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names can never hurt me.

Rep. Massie: I would like a straight answer.

Bondi: Poopyhead..

Rep. Massie: Excuse me?

Bondi: Double poopyhead.

Rep. Massie: Sticks and stones…what am I saying?! Mr. Chairman?

Rep. Jordan: Madam. You swore to tell the truth today.

Bondi: I crossed my fingers. Doesn’t count.

Rep. Jordan: You’re turning this hearing into a circus.

Bondi: Ooh. I Love the circus. Where are the animals?

Rep. Jaypal: These women are entitled to justice. What do you say to them?

Bondi: They started it.

Rep. Jaypal: Started what?

Bondi: Getting the Democrats involved.

Rep. Stalwell: So?

Bondi: Democrats are MEAN to me. I don’t like them. Not invited to my birthday party.

Rep. Jaypal: This is a farce.

Bondi: Cross my heart and hope to die. Stick a needle in your eye.

Rep. Jaypal: This is about abused children, General.

Bondi: I’m a kid too, you know.

Rep. Raskin: General. Will you answer our questions? Yes or no?

Bondi: You can’t make me.

______________________________________________________________

There you have it, ladies and gentlemen. The full hearing demonstrated some real childish behavior. And while I attempted to inject a bit of levity into a dark situation, this is a very serious matter. It’s not funny at all. But the Attorney General of the United States not only made a mockery of the proceedings; she made a fool out of herself in the process.

When asked to face Jeffrey Epstein’s survivors — real human beings who endured real abuse —and apologize, she refused. She never turned around. There was no acknowledgment. No empathy. No gravity. No nothing. Instead, she delivered rehearsed jabs, playground retorts, and performance outrage.

But her oath was real. The hearing was real. The survivors are real, and they deserve more than the playground antics of a 1st-grader.

Readers of this post may have reasons for supporting the current administration, but they must ask themselves this question:

If a Democratic Attorney General had sworn an oath and then responded to questions about child abuse with rehearsed insults and playground deflections, would you call that a strong performance? Or would you call it disgraceful?

Leadership is not trying and failing to “own” the opposition. It is not viral clips or not-so-clever zingers. The Attorney General is not a cable pundit. She is the nation’s chief law enforcement officer. The position requires gravity and discipline. It requires adulthood. Congress is not a school playground or a stage. The Epstein survivors are not props.

The bar was not “Are you smarter than a 1st-grader?” The bar was to be an adult, an experienced attorney who ignores politics and seeks justice for victims of serious crime.

The bar was not cleared, and when the highest law enforcement officer in the country behaves like a child, it isn’t funny. It’s disqualifying. The Attorney General of the United States should resign from office.

That’s our opinion. What’s yours?