I’m going to give you something to think about. Some of you will disagree with me—and that’s okay. I am simply offering another perspective on living as death approaches.
My husband was 89 years old when, during a routine chest exam, two lesions were found in his lung, very close to a lymph node. It was determined that these lesions were cancerous. To know exactly what kind of Cancer they were, he would need an invasive lung biopsy. Knowing the type would help determine its rate of Growth and what kind of treatment might be beneficial. The procedure would not eliminate or treat the cancer—only identify it.
My husband and I had a lengthy, open conversation. We decided that no matter the kind of cancer or possible treatments, at almost 90, death was already on the horizon. The question became: how did he want to spend his remaining time? With procedures and treatments, or living as fully as he could until he couldn’t.
Jack lived four months. Those four months were a gift of time for all of us. During that time, he did a lot of reminiscing, examining his life and his actions. Family came from out of town to support him and show their Love. Our entire family grew closer.
The one thing we didn’t do—though we tried, and Jack kept putting it off—was organize financial records and identify where important papers were kept. I came to understand the importance of that missed opportunity in the months following his death, as we tried to sort through years of paperwork.
I share this because I was experiencing firsthand what I had learned during all my years of end-of-life work.
I learned from others’ life journeys that sometimes treatment can rob us of precious time. I learned that a gradual death can be an opportunity to put our affairs in order and say goodbye.
I learned that in shock, fear, and sadness, we don’t always think through all the possibilities. I’ve seen too many families lose precious time in treatments that did not add to living. I’ve learned that people don’t always realize that treatment is not always the best life option.
Something more…
If you are walking this path with someone you love, my End of Life Guideline Series offers simple, honest explanations of what to expect and how to approach these moments with more confidence and less fear. In the little bundle is my palliative care booklet for those given a diagnosis of a life limiting disease called A Time To Live: Living With A Life Threatening Illness.
Originally Published on https://bkbooks.com/blogs/something-to-think-about
