Fear moves on fleet feet, distorting all it touches; exaggerating, permeating, penetrating, overshadowing all. I think that sentence explains most of our reactions to approaching death. Our fear interprets what we see. Fear that our special person is not being properly taken care of. Fear within ourselves that we have no control over what is […]

Dear Barbara, our house is not big enough to have a hospital bed and all the medical things that my dad will need now that he’s been referred to hospice care. We have to work, so no one will be home to take care of him. Should we look for a hospice house? Hospice houses […]

Many years ago, someone came up with the idea that once a year Americans would reach out to those they care about and say, “I love you.” This is done with cards, flowers, and poems. February 14th is that day. Valentine’s Day. That is “I Love You” Day. Wouldn’t it be special if everyday was “I Love […]

One night many years ago when I was a hospice RN, when most people couldn’t pronounce the word “hospice,” or understand what the services were about, I was sitting with a family. Mom was in the bedroom, probably a week or so from death. The family and I were in the living room. I was […]

I so appreciate the many, many people that responded to last week’s I Am Now Reaching Out To You Fellow Grievers blog. I want to share with you some of the suggestions you have shared with me. Ideas for filling a huge space left empty by the death of someone who made us a “we.” […]

Widows and widowers who are living alone, I have a question to ask you. What do you do with your days? How do you fill your hours which turn into days now that you are a “me” instead of a “we?” I didn’t realize how much Jack filled my days and my routines until he […]

Dear Barbara, My mom is 83 and has moderate Alzheimer’s . Since May, I have noticed a big change in her behavior. She has really slowed down with everything. She sleeps a lot. I know she is depressed and she is on medications, but I hate to see her sleeping like this. She is still […]

Dear Barbara, My mother was transferred to an inpatient hospice. She was alert and talking to us when she arrived. Upon admission, the RN brought up the topic of medications to help her relax. I told her my mom had been relaxed without any problems. The RN insisted she seemed uncomfortable and pushed for morphine. […]

A life review helps us as our life is ending. It can put all the happenings of our life in perspective. How about an end of the year review? Let’s take some time to remember and think through our struggles, our misadventures, and assess our strengths. From the knowledge and perspective found in our review […]

For those of us who are grieving, the holidays can be challenging. Yearning memories, I-wish-I-had’s, and loneliness can all be more strongly felt. Other people seem cheerful, happily planning holiday delights, and we, the grievers or caregivers, are reminded of what we don’t have, of what we’ve lost or are losing. What to do? Write […]