The phrase ” domestic cat ” is an oxymoron. George Will
Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God. Anonymous
The cat is the only non-gregarious domestic animal. Francis Galton
You call to a dog and the dog will break his neck getting to you. Dogs just want to please. Call a cat and its attitude is: “What’s in it for me?” Lewis Grizzard
It’s easy to understand why the cat has eclipsed the dog as modern America’s favorite pet. People like pets to possess the same qualities as they do. Cats are irresponsible and recognize no authority, yet are completely dependent on others for their material needs. Cats cannot be made to do anything useful. Cats are mean for the fun of it. PJ O’Rourke
Cats can work out mathematically the exact place to sit on that will cause the most inconvenience. Pat Brown
In my more depressed moments, I believe a cat can suffer from Stockholm Syndrome. You know, where the hostage falls in Love with the captor, as an adaptive mechanism. Betsy Salkind
Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want. Joseph Wood Crutch
Cats have a scam going. You buy the food. They eat the food, they go away; that’s the deal. Eddie Izzard
If toast always lands butter side down and cats always land on their feet, what happens when you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?! Steven Wright
I gave my cat a bath the other day. He enjoyed it, it was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that…
Steve Martin
Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer. Bruce Graham
I’ve been trying to teach my cat the meaning of the word no. Which seems roughly equivalent to teaching a dog Latin. Judy Brown
Cats hearing apparatus is built to allow the human voice to go easily in one ear and out the other. Stephen Baker
Cats’ names are more for human benefit. They give one a certain degree more confidence that the animal belongs to you. Alan Ayckbourn
If cats could talk, they wouldn’t. Nan Porter
The mathematical possibility of a cat doing exactly as it pleases is the only scientific absolute in the world. Lynn Osband
I have cats because they have no artificially imposed, culturally prescribed sense of decorum. They live in the moment. If I had an aneurysm in the brain and dropped dead, I love know that when the paramedics carry me out, my cats are going to be swatting at that little toe tag. Paul Provenza
Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well. Missy Dizick
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