How Do You Use the “Stories That Shaped You” in Your Life?
A story is about how and why life changes.
My colleague, Jerome Deroy—CEO of Narativ—and I have hosted two live story-sharing events this winter as part of our “Stories That Shaped Us” Narativ series.
Each time, we invited three guests to share a personal story that shaped who they are—and how they’ve applied those experiences in their work. We strongly believe that leadership development, and even simply being a decent human being, doesn’t begin with strategy or metrics—it begins with story.
We weren’t interested in manufactured or artificial narratives. Instead, we wanted our audience to hear authentic stories—ones built from lessons learned, resilience, and even mistakes.
The more stories we heard our guests share, the more apparent it became: these heartfelt moments create space for listening, reflection, and genuine human connection. These are the stories that build trust and engagement.
How to Begin Crafting Your Own Story
I’d like to take this opportunity to share a few ideas on how to create your own meaningful story:
1. Give yourself credit.
Acknowledge that you’re taking the initiative to express yourself and connect in a new way.
2. Let your mind explore.
Give your brain permission to play with your experiences and memories.
3. Ask yourself:
What events shaped me?
Don’t edit or censor your thoughts. If something unexpected comes up, work with it—there’s a reason it surfaced.
4. Re-enter the moment.
Bring the experience to life by placing yourself back in that scene:
- How old were you?
- Where were you?
- What were you doing?
- What did the environment look like?
The more sensory detail you can recall, the better.
5. Capture what happened.
Jot down a few notes about the experience. When you’re done, read them back.
6. Build a simple story arc.
Organize your thoughts into:
You don’t have to write everything down—feel it, know it.
7. Tell it out loud.
Share your story in the first person (“I”), as if it’s happening in the moment.
8. Know your ending.
Be clear about where you want the story to land—and why.
Don’t over-explain it. Let it resonate.
A Final Thought
How do you feel?
If you felt nervous at the start—that’s okay. It means you’re human. It means you care.
The key is simple: begin. Try.
And remember—no inner critics allowed.
Tell your story. Then tell it again. Notice what changes as you refine it, add detail, and discover new meaning along the way.
Explore More
“Stories That Shaped Us” Events:
Learn More About My Work:
Podcasts:
https://www.linkedin.com/posts/narativ-inc_leadership-storytelling-listening-activity-7445872679418691584-CWsF?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_desktop&rcm=ACoAAAAEqXQBewQ-s7KdQwE0ffSbIEiX5tWOcG4
If you’d like to learn more about how to use storytelling in your own life or work, feel free to reach out.
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Julienne B. Ryan began her professional career at age five when she did TV commercials and learned important things like “the teamsters always eat first,” her social security number and how to endorse checks for bank deposit.
Ryan studied psychology in college because she wanted to understand humans. She conducted her “field work” in a variety of roles, hearing the phrases “merger synergies, reorganizations, downsizing and rightsizing for change” more times than she cares to mention.
Later she enrolled in an Ivy League graduate school where she paid oodles of money to validate her prior on-the-job learning experiences. However, she did learn to name drop up-to-date theories and trendy psychologists with alarming ease.
Ryan evolved into working in “Talent Management,” a fancy way of saying “try to find people and keep them moderately happy.” With inadequate budgets and staff allocations, she had to find creative ways to encourage her staff to work effectively. These ranged from begging and borrowing resources, improvising childcare, telling stories and even giving snacks as rewards. She tried to convince herself that working a bazillion hours and “multi-tasking” equaled achievement.
Her work took place in cubicles, conference rooms or, with luck, in offices with a door. Occasionally she would make the time to emerge from her allotted real estate to really talk to people. Ryan learned something transformative in the process:
Yes, she was effective. But not because she used fancy theories – or gave great snacks. Ryan’s success, her staff believed, was a result of her uncanny knack for weaving storytelling with humor to motivate and encourage them. Crucially, they encouraged Ryan to de-emphasize “that normal HR stuff” and focus on bringing her unique storytelling skills to a broader stage.
Thanks to them, Ryan continues to collect, connect and tell stories in her work helping people find their “true selves in the world of work.
She is the author of the humorous, all true "The Learned It In Queens Communications Playbook - Winning Against Distraction!".that now includes a workbook and is available at booksellers across the globe..
She is a guest contributor to The Procurement Foundry, LifeBlood, and the global storytelling community.
Certifications include
Accumatch (BI) Behavior Intelligence
Narativ Applied Storytelling Methodologies
Collective Brains – Mentorship Methodologies
