Those of you with total recall may recall The Great Cologuard Scam Parts One, Two, and Three. If so, you were probably praying to everything good and holy that there wouldn’t be a Part Four. Well, I hate to disappoint you, but …
You may remember two things in particular from Part One:
There. Now that we’re all caught up, we can fast forward to my most recent annual Wellness Visit, which took place this past October, as it always does. My PCP told me the Cologuard kit he hadn’t sent to me but I’d submitted anyway returned a positive result for Cancer. He suggested — and I agreed — that those were dice not worth rolling. And given the fact that my failed colonoscopy had been more than 20 years hence, we surmised the Technology, the scopes, and myriad other aspects of the testing procedure may well have advanced to the point at which a second shot at a colonoscopy might be more successful than the first. So, my PCP ordered a consult with a colorectal surgeon.
When we met, the surgeon corroborated the thinking of the PCP and me. He said he’d do whatever he could while being mindful of doing no harm. (Thank you, Hippocrates.) Everything about the surgeon and his manner put me at ease.
On Thursday, November 20th, I reported to the surgical center for the colonoscopy. Since the procedure was scheduled for first thing in the morning, I was prohibited from eating the entire day Wednesday. And I didn’t start the prep (how’s that for euphemism?) until 6:00 p.m. that day. As a result, I didn’t Sleep a wink Wednesday night because I was … well … you know. So, as you might imagine, I was alert, refreshed, and at my absolute best when Anne drove me to the surgical center Thursday morning.
After signing numerous forms and having an IV inserted in the back of my right hand, I was wheeled into the procedure room. Shortly thereafter, I felt the euphoric, numbing blur of Propofol and awoke in the recovery room to the surgeon’s telling me the exam had been a smashing success. No traces of cancer. No polyps. No nothing. And before leaving for home, I was told, given the pristine exam and my age (good news/bad news), I needn’t have another colonoscopy for the rest of my life.
I’ll miss the Propofol, but I won’t miss the prep.
Well, at least everything came out all right.
Originally Published on https://www.bizcatalyst360.com/category/lifecolumns/notes-to-self/
