A while ago, I wrote a post in which I referred to a woman for whom I once worked as the Queen of the Malaprop.

For those of you who might not be familiar with the term, a malaprop, which is short for malapropism, is the use of a word or phrase in place of a similar-sounding one, often to humorous or absurd effect. While I’ve never heard this one, married people might say they’re in monotonous Relationships which, on second thought, may or may not be a malaprop.

At any rate, unless you’re Norm Crosby, malaprops are usually unintentional, revealing a misunderstanding of the word or phrase’s correct meaning or pronunciation. For you history buffs, the term comes from the character, Mrs. Malaprop, who frequently misused words comically in Richard Sheridan’s 1775 play, The Rivals.

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

I have no idea why I was thinking about the Queen of the Malaprop recently, but 14 of her most frequently used expressions came to mind. Here they are:

1. That’s a mute point.
2. I’ve been taken for granite.
3. Let me play Devil’s avocado.
4. Let’s get down to grass tacks.
5. He has a photogenic memory.
6. That’s rubbing salt in the womb.
7. We’re all in, lockstep and barrel.
8. His career was a flash in the pants.
9. It’s mine, for all intensive purposes.
10. That dude’s a gluten for punishment.
11. He has a self-defecating sense of humor.
12. June 1 is the beginning of our physical year.
13. In these circumstances, syntax is a red heron.

“But, Killer,” I hear you thinking, “you said 14 of her most frequently used expressions. That’s a scant baker’s dozen.”

Yes. I did, indeed. I wanted to save the best for last.

Stranger Than Fiction

In a meeting with her in her office one day, she was describing a situation from her working past that she wanted me to understand had been difficult, turbulent, borderline chaotic. Apparently, during some sort of corporate merger, her entire team had been let go, leaving her to accomplish everything for which her team had been responsible — and to recruit and hire new members for the team even as she was getting all the other work done.

Positioning herself as the voice of reason, sanity, resourcefulness, and capability, she said, with an earnestness that almost made me cry, “Even in the midst of all that, I held down the fork.”

At risk of seeming immodest, those of you who may find me lacking in the Self-Restraint Department should prepare yourselves to be pleasantly surprised and very proud of me.

My immediate inclination was to ask, “Did you join Weight Watchers? Or were you trying to starve your husband?”

But I didn’t do it. Instead, I merely said, with all the sincerity and admiration I could muster, “You’d clearly reached the pinochle of success.”

She thanked me.

Then I waited 30 years to write this post.

Originally Published on https://www.bizcatalyst360.com/category/lifecolumns/notes-to-self/

Mark O'Brien Writer, Blogger

I'm the founder and principal of O'Brien Communications Group (obriencg.com) and the co-founder and President of EinSource (einsource.com). I'm a lifelong writer. My wife, Anne, and I have two married sons and four grandchildren. I'm having the time of my life.