A Boomer’s Point of View

Little Whiners

I was listening to Megyn Kelly today. She hosts a talk show and podcast,

The Megyn Kelly Show

, that airs live daily on SiriusXM. (She is one of my daily sources for what’s going on in the world.) She wasn’t shy about her irritation with a group of NYU students who apparently complained that their organic chemistry professor was too hard. The students that signed the petition against him complained that their grades did not reflect the effort they put in. As a result, the university fired him claiming that he had failed to meet the university’s teaching standards. He was a long-time professor and the author of a well-regarded textbook on the subject so I assume he knew his shit. The little whiners won.

I have heard many stories like this one about Gen Zs (anyone born from 1997 onward according to Pew Research) and their sniveling, entitled, and sensitive ways. My first reaction was screw you little whiners (OK boomer). The truth is at fifty-eight I know more than I did at twenty-eight and I think most of us can agree that experience in life leads to Wisdom (most of the time). You can’t get there without passing through each generation, making mistakes, paying your dues, and learning on your own. It’s the natural path in life. Generations are famous for not understanding each other. It’s nothing new, but it’s my first-time being part of the “other,” “older” generation.

As a gerontologist I am fascinated by cohorts and how each new generation is impacted by unique circumstances shared by people who were born in a similar time, shaping their views on how they think, work, live, and love. I am grateful that I had the experiences I had as a young adult exploring the world on my bike, at the roller rink, or playing outdoors. I was free from worries about selfies or likes. I was a teenager in the seventies and a young adult in the eighties and I’m a proud Boomer. We are described as independent, confident, self-reliant, self-assured, competitive, goal-centric and we have a strong work ethic. Those characteristics served me well and the truth is, I wonder how the younger generation is going to survive in the real world.

Life is hard and it seems to be getting tougher. On my journey, I learned that it takes a lot of hustle and determination to succeed in this world. There were no shortcuts to adulthood and not everyone gets a trophy. But I have to wonder if that is still true in the world we live in today? Each generation has influenced the world in their own unique ways and this generation is no different. Is it possible that their influence is so impactful that society is changing to accommodate them rather than forcing them to grow up and suck it up like the rest of us had to do? And if so, what does that mean for their future and ours?

Maybe Instead of criticizing I should use all this great wisdom I’ve earned as an older woman to good use and support, connect, and learn from other generations of women. Last week I had the opportunity to be included in an event hosted by Kim Newberry, owner of Newberry Bros. Coffee, a local hotspot in Newport, Kentucky. I’ve known Kim for many years but never had the opportunity to be more than an admirer and acquaintance. I was delighted and a little surprised to be invited to the event she was hosting. This is the text that me and twelve other lucky ladies received:

YOU Inspire ME!

There are many women I have met over the years who inspire me. Women who bring love, warmth, joy, humor, creativity, compassion, spunk, and SO MUCH MORE to my life, and to the lives of countless others. You are one of those women.

I have been thinking a lot about assembling a small group of inspiring friends for reasons I am still working through in my head. There is too much negativity all around us. It is emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually debilitating. At least that is true for me. And it overshadows the positivity that is also present but often silenced or trivialized because it does not carry equal (or greater) weight. Life is sometimes a heavy lift.

I feel that if we put our heads and hearts together, we can come up with some really amazing ways to make a difference in our own lives, and in the lives of others. Our very own “Circle of Love,” if you will.

Let me know if this is of interest to you. If not, no worries. If so, I will reach back out to schedule a date/time to get together at our bar and see where this might take us. If nothing else, consider it a night out with friends you have yet to meet.

“Love You. Mean It.” ~Kim

I wasn’t exactly sure what this was all about but I knew I wanted to be a part of it. It was a cold Monday night and I wasn’t 100% delighted to dress and prepare to mingle with a group of women I didn’t know. I’m considered an extravert because I’m not shy and can speak easily in a crowd, but honestly over the last few years I have leaned towards intimate connections rather than small talk in a crowd. I am enjoying an introverted life. Recently I have connected with so many incredible women that have responded to my blog and I have enjoyed deepening friendships and connecting with women I admire. It’s uplifting, inspiring and exactly what I want and need in my life. So, I put on my lipstick and my big girl panties and headed out the door.

Meeting this group of thirteen women was the best decision I have made since marrying my husband Pablo four years ago. After a little bourbon and wine, we began to warm up and the noise level in the room was energetic. We were buzzing like bees attacking honey. Kim invited us to sit and we enjoyed delicious comforting soup and homemade focaccia. Kim stood up and quietly said a few words to welcome us and then asked each of us if we would share one thing about ourselves and she invited us to “toot our horn.” The room was quiet as we processed this request. We were all a little shy, a bit uncertain, overthinking what to share, worrying if what we had to say was worthy of a toot. Despite what you see on social media most women never speak highly of themselves and are uncomfortable doing it. All it took was a little encouragement and someone to go first (me) and we were lit like a winter fire on Christmas morning. We even had a team captain who accompanied each story with a pre and post toot from a birthday horn. We were each given our own individual celebration. We shared, laughed, consoled, cried, encouraged, and enjoyed the moment. Two hours after we arrived, we were no longer strangers, we were friends. The evening was like a scene from a movie and I felt like the Grinch who stole Christmas and my heart grew three sizes that day.

Kim inspired me to pay it forward and I decided to extend grace to all generations of women, not just the one I belong to. I recently learned about

Generations Over Dinner

which is a program intended to inspire meaningful conversations across generations by modeling and creating an experience that connects the values of all perspectives across the age continuum.

Generations Over Dinner

was launched by the Modern Elder Academy and the founders of

Death over Dinner

(another fascinating program) about opening the conversation about how we want to die. These resources provide a complete tool kit for creating your own event, including how to host, topics to discuss, and scripts to ignite the conversation. I am energized and inspired to connect and not criticize women of all generations and I invite you to join me for a meal and a conversation.In 2023 I am kicking off an invitation to women of all generations to join me in conversation and a meal. I’m ready to host a dinner with anyone interested in joining other women to be the change we want to see in the world.

Will you join me?

“I would like to be known as an intelligent woman. A courageous woman. A loving woman. A woman who teaches by being.” –   Maya Angelou