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June 25th, 2023

Co-creating Peace Episode #119 – "The Accidental Marriage – Re-Framing Divorce”

  1. Co-creating Peace Episode #119 – "The Accidental Marriage – Re-Framing Divorce Kathleen Oweegon 38:28

Despite our best intentions and efforts, marriage doesn’t always work out exactly the way we planned; sometimes it doesn’t work out at all! Both marriage and its dissolution can be filled with rancor and conflict, or they can be opportunities for collaboration and Growth; sometimes all the above.

Whether it’s a marriage in progress or one that is ending, people can make a conscious choice about how they want to approach conflict and its resolution. Mediation can be an integral ingredient in a constructive outcome that builds or restructures a relationship, rather than destroying it.

Welcome to “The Accidental Marriage – Re-Framing Divorce”, Episode #119 of Co-creating Peace, a series about conscious communication and conflict transformation. 

In this episode, Debra Oliver, a mediator with over 30 years of experience, & I explore the concept of an 'accidental marriage’: the complexities of attraction that can lead to subconscious and assumed agreements which may cause issues later in the relationship. We’ll also discuss important details negotiated in a divorce mediation that divorcing parents often overlook, such as Parenting styles, long-term finances, and the legal rights of each parent. 

Highlights of our conversation include:

  • How unspoken expectations and implied agreements can lead to conflict in Relationships
  • How positive divorce experiences are possible 
  • The importance of trained divorce mediators
  • How collaborative divorce & co-parenting can benefit children
  • Ethics & limitations of divorce mediators 

Debra Oliver, founder of Common Ground Mediation Services, has been a mediator and trainer since 1989. She has served over ten thousand clients and trainees in the US, Nepal and Russia. She serves a variety of businesses, non-profits, and state agencies, as well as specializing in Restorative Justice, Family Dynamics, and Divorce. Debra has worked with law enforcement agencies and municipalities, providing training and community dialogue services. Debra was also a founding partner , along with myself and 3 others, in Community Dialogue Network, LLC, an organization that provided community-wide dialogues on public perspectives, especially in response to community crises.

To learn more about Debra Oliver and her work, visit her website: www.commonground-adr.org

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Contact Kathleen Oweegon at: [email protected] to share your ideas and feedback for this show. You can receive a free 30-minute communication coaching session by being a guest on Co-creating Peace to talk about your communication challenges and receive Kathleen's suggestions on the air. Visit BridgesofPeace.com to learn more about Kathleen and her work.

Kathleen Oweegon Educator, Podcast Host, Communication Coach, Mediator, Facilitator

Kathleen Oweegon is the founder of Bridges of Peace with offices in Oregon and New Mexico. She also serves on the Board of Directors of International Institute for Global Leadership.

Kathleen has been a educator in communication and leadership skills for over 40 years, working with institutions and in the private sector. She has received over 250 hours of training in conflict resolution and related skills, and has created, co-designed and delivered many trainings in mindfulness, leadership, mediation, facilitation and conflict-free communication.