Posts Tagged With ‘ Aging parents ’

This is shocking, but it actually happened. I describe a real case, with names changed. The man involved was what we call an “elder orphan”. These are the ones with no kids, never married, or widowed and they do not have anyone paying much attention to them as they age. They are vulnerable to predators. His case may be representative of what can easily happen when no one is watching. The Elder Orphan “Tony” age 87, widowed with no children, lived alone and took care of himself. But he was getting frail and it was getting hard to get the grocery shopping done. While at the market, a checker... Continue Reading

As people age, sometimes they are more willing to overlook what needs fixing at home. Maybe it feels like too much to vet contractors, or get bids. One gentleman in his 80’s comments at AgingParents.com, “I’ll just let my kids take care of it. I’ll probably be gone in five years”. Is that fair? We think not. Here’s how far it can go. The “Can’t Be Bothered” Attitude Carter and Sybil, both in their mid-80s, have lived in their home for over 50 years. They raised their kids there. They host family gatherings there with adult children and grandkids. They are quite comfortable financially... Continue Reading

It seems that there is no end to what unscrupulous financial advisors will do to line their own pockets at others’ expense. One does not need to be elderly and frail to get taken advantage of by someone you trust for financial advice. This debacle happened to a working widow in her 60s with limited assets. She had an IRA, though she depended on her job as her primary source of income. She trusted the institution where she had her IRA to give her ethical guidance on what to do with her modest retirement funds. They told her to put her money into oil and gas securities, real estate investment trusts... Continue Reading

For those in what we call “midlife”, somewhere between 45 and 65 years of age, there is a hidden crisis many face. It’s not suddenly wanting to re-make your life nor taking an abrupt turn in your relationship with your significant other. Rather, it’s the pressure of feeling obligated to take care of both aging parents and adult kids. That pressure can easily reach a crisis point, particularly when the needs of aging loved ones demand enormous amounts of time. Sandwich Generation: Kids To Support And Aging Parents To Care For Generally, we think of midlife as a time of change, with empty... Continue Reading

Healthy aging stories always inspire me, especially about older athletes. This one was a jaw-dropper, unlike anything I’ve ever seen. It’s not new but stays in mind when I think about our ageist society and what stereotypes we have of elders. As reported by CNN and New York affiliate WHAM, a man broke into the house of 82 year old Willie Murphy, first trying to fool her that he was ill and needed an ambulance. She called the police, and when she wouldn’t let him in, he angrily broke open the door. Undoubtedly, he never expected the 105 pound woman inside, alone in semi-darkness to take him... Continue Reading

Nursing homes are regulated by the Federal government and in most instances, these regulations make sense in terms of safety. However, things go wrong in nursing homes on a regular basis and sometimes they go horribly wrong. For decades, nursing homes were allowed to handle claims against them for allegations of wrongdoing in complete secrecy from the public. They did so by forcing every person who needed to go into a nursing home to sign an agreement upon admission that any dispute as to anything that happened in the home had to be decided in a private arbitration, not disclosed to the public. Essentially... Continue Reading

Roger, 90 and Mark, 85 have been off and on friends for 50 years. Mark has no family of his own. Roger’s adult kids call him “Uncle Mark”, as he’s shown up for family events for decades. He once had plenty of money, or so it seemed. There was the apartment in Paris, the home in the U.S. as well. Roger’s family traveled with Uncle Mark in years past. But things changed as Mark got older. He has a history of being reckless with investments. He lost what he had and now, he’s homeless. One day, he just showed up without notice at Roger’s home, where Roger has lived for 60 years. Mark... Continue Reading

­­­If you have a single aging parent who is lonely and wants companionship, should you encourage your parent to try online dating? It depends. Technology in nearly every aspect of life promises to make things better. Internet dating sites abound, with several targeted particularly to seniors, those “over 50” or “over 65”. But are they any better for older people looking for companionship or love than they are for younger folks? Possibly, because older folks go about the process differently. Maybe they are more willing give a full description of themselves and to meet face to face sooner.... Continue Reading

Can you imagine your aging parents losing their independence? It might be the conversation they don’t want to have with you. Will you, the adult child bring up this subject? What we see here at AgingParents.com is that when no one talks about it, the sudden costs of caring for them can overwhelm all but the most financially secure. Parents are unprepared and their adult children become very uncomfortable with the prospect of having to help support their aging loved ones. Sudden costs happen when a parent falls, or has a stroke and becomes disabled. Anything unexpected can trigger the need for... Continue Reading

You’ll hear it all the time, that resolution to do more exercise with the new year. People may start out the first week, but then it’s back to old habits of a sedentary life. TV may be more tempting than putting on those walking shoes, if they even have the shoes. And the excuses are rampant: it’s too cold, it’s too hot, I don’t have time, or I just don’t feel like it. What is this doing to our elders’ health? In short, the sedentary lifestyle is seriously damaging people’s chances for a longer, healthier life. And some say they don’t care, they’ll accept living a shorter life... Continue Reading